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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3
It is often said that one cannot buy happiness with the money. Although I agree with this fact that being wealthy does not assure one being happy, but at the same time there are a number of reasons of being unhappy that arise due to the shortage of money. So, I partly agree with this statement and this essay will reflect my reason for this. There are a number of materialistic things in this world that our wealth can provide us. But, happiness is a feeling that cannot be taken for granted along with the wealth. We can take examples of the celebrities like the television and the movie stars, the politicians, etc. ; although they are very famous and really rich, but very often we come across the news of these renowned personalities being depressed. In fact, if check some history, a number of highlighted personalities like Zeenat Amaan, committed suicide due to their depression that too at the peak of their carriers. Furthermore, people often correlate the feeling of joy and cheerfulness, solely with the availability of capital; which is totally wrong. In my experience, I have seen people complaining that they will be content once they get money but this never happens. On the other hand, it is often observed that the lack of funds to even cover the basic needs, become the reason of stress in many people’s life. For instance, I often observe my neighbours arguing over the financial issues, which is one of the major reasons of sorrow in their life. Very often, we observe that the farmers and the poor people commit suicide or remain depressed throughout their lives failing to provide their families with the basic necessities to lead a happy life. No doubt, the money cannot buy happiness but it can definitely help in buying the things that might bring joy in the lives of those who struggle due to its deficiency. To conclude, though I agree that money alone cannot give the surety of happiness but it can definitely be the reason of joy for the people those who struggle in their life due to its unavailability.
It is
often
said that one cannot
buy
happiness
with the
money
. Although I
agree
with this fact that being wealthy does not assure one being happy,
but
at the same time there are a number of
reasons
of being unhappy that arise
due
to the shortage of
money
.
So
, I partly
agree
with this statement and this essay will reflect my
reason
for this.

There are a number of materialistic things in this world that our wealth can provide us.
But
,
happiness
is a feeling that cannot
be taken
for granted along with the wealth. We can take examples of the celebrities like the television and the movie stars, the politicians, etc. ; although they are
very
famous
and
really
rich,
but
very
often
we
come
across the news of these renowned personalities
being depressed
. In fact, if
check
some
history, a number of highlighted personalities like
Zeenat
Amaan
, committed suicide
due
to their depression that too at the peak of their carriers.
Furthermore
,
people
often
correlate the feeling of joy and cheerfulness,
solely
with the availability of capital; which is
totally
wrong
. In my experience, I have
seen
people
complaining that they will be content once they
get
money
but
this never happens.

On the other hand
, it is
often
observed that the lack of funds to even cover the basic needs, become the
reason
of
stress
in
many
people’s
life
.
For instance
, I
often
observe my
neighbours
arguing over the financial issues, which is one of the major
reasons
of sorrow in their
life
.
Very
often
, we observe that the farmers and the poor
people
commit suicide or remain depressed throughout their
lives
failing to provide their families with the
basic necessities
to lead a happy
life
. No doubt, the
money
cannot
buy
happiness
but
it can definitely
help
in buying the things that might bring joy in the
lives
of those who struggle
due
to its deficiency.

To conclude
, though I
agree
that
money
alone cannot give the surety of
happiness
but
it can definitely be the
reason
of joy for the
people
those who struggle in their
life
due
to its unavailability.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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