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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3
It is often said that one cannot buy happiness with the money. Although I agree with this fact that being wealthy does not assure one being happy, but at the same time there are a number of reasons of being unhappy that arise due to the shortage of money. So, I partly agree with this statement and this essay will reflect my reason for this. There are a number of materialistic things in this world that our wealth can provide us. But, happiness is a feeling that cannot be taken for granted along with the wealth. We can take examples of the celebrities like the television and the movie stars, the politicians, etc. ; although they are very famous and really rich, but very often we come across the news of these renowned personalities being depressed. In fact, if check some history, a number of highlighted personalities like Zeenat Amaan, committed suicide due to their depression that too at the peak of their carriers. Furthermore, people often correlate the feeling of joy and cheerfulness, solely with the availability of capital; which is totally wrong. In my experience, I have seen people complaining that they will be content once they get money but this never happens. On the other hand, it is often observed that the lack of funds to even cover the basic needs, become the reason of stress in many people’s life. For instance, I often observe my neighbours arguing over the financial issues, which is one of the major reasons of sorrow in their life. Very often, we observe that the farmers and the poor people commit suicide or remain depressed throughout their lives failing to provide their families with the basic necessities to lead a happy life. No doubt, the money cannot buy happiness but it can definitely help in buying the things that might bring joy in the lives of those who struggle due to its deficiency. To conclude, though I agree that money alone cannot give the surety of happiness but it can definitely be the reason of joy for the people those who struggle in their life due to its unavailability.
It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
said that one cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that being wealthy does not assure one being happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of being unhappy that arise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will reflect my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this.

There are a number of materialistic things in this world that our wealth can provide us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a feeling that cannot
be taken
for granted along with the wealth. We can take examples of the celebrities like the television and the movie stars, the politicians, etc. ; although they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
really
rich,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across the news of these renowned personalities
being depressed
. In fact, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
history, a number of highlighted personalities like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeenat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amaan
, committed suicide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their depression that too at the peak of their carriers.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
correlate the feeling of joy and cheerfulness,
solely
with the availability of capital; which is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. In my experience, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complaining that they will be content once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this never happens.

On the other hand
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
observed that the lack of funds to even cover the basic needs, become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
observe my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
arguing over the financial issues, which is one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of sorrow in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
, we observe that the farmers and the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit suicide or remain depressed throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
failing to provide their families with the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
to lead a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. No doubt, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in buying the things that might bring joy in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of those who struggle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its deficiency.

To conclude
, though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
alone cannot give the surety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can definitely be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of joy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those who struggle in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its unavailability.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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