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We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers, and what effect does it have on our lifestyles? Discuss the issue and give your opinion. v.2

We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. Discuss the issue and give your opinion. v. 2
Over the years advertisements became more and more popular. We are exposed to them on the radio, on Tv, in the trailers of movies, buses, billboards, and they are promoted even by a lot of celebrities. Our choices as costumers are controlled by the advertisements due to the impossibility to avoid them. In my opinion they have a huge impact and in many cases, people end up buying things that they actually do not need. Firstly, insecurity is a reason why many costumers buy things that they actually do not like. The people who make advertisements take advantage from those who have problems accepting their personality. People that suffer from this disease are very vulnerable to the force of advertisements. For instance, if someone is feeling insecure about their appearance, and sees a beautiful model wearing certain clothes in an advertisement, she or he may feel more beautiful if they had those clothes. To conclude, people often cannot say what their decisions are based on, and in these cases advertisements succeed to change their mind. Furthermore, the brunt that advertisements have can impact people living in various ways. The most obviously worrying influence is that people who feel the need for a constant possession will of course be under considerable extra financial strain. For example, many people who are found in this situation begin working longer hours and spend less time with the loved ones. Therefore, they might become anxious and depressed due to the constant need for buying new things. To summarize, by seeing advertisements people are in a constant need for buying things that they actually do not need. Consequently, it is well known that the peoples' choices are affected in many cases by advertisements. After thorough analysis on this subject, advertisements have a huge impact on our lives and it seems very unlikely that anyone can escape their influence in today’s world.
Over the years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
became more and more popular. We
are exposed
to them on the radio, on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
, in the trailers of movies, buses, billboards, and they
are promoted
even by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
celebrities. Our choices as costumers
are controlled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
due to the impossibility to avoid them. In my opinion they have a huge impact and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying things that they actually do not need.

Firstly
, insecurity is a reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
costumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that they actually do not like. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
take advantage from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have problems accepting their personality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
that suffer from this disease are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable to the force of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
For instance
, if someone is feeling insecure about their appearance, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
model wearing certain clothes in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, she or he may feel more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
if they had those clothes.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cannot say what their decisions
are based
on, and in these cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
succeed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind.

Furthermore
, the brunt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have can impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in various ways. The most
obviously
worrying influence is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for a constant possession will
of course
be under considerable extra financial strain.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are found
in this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working longer hours and spend less time with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Therefore
, they might become anxious and depressed due to the constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for buying new things.

To summarize
, by seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for buying things that they actually do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
Consequently
, it is well known that the peoples' choices are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. After thorough analysis on this subject,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a huge impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely that anyone can escape their influence in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. Discuss the issue and give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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