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Some people say that it is more important to spend money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The world health care system has been facing enormous pressure due to frequent outbreaks of diseases. It is argued that the state should increase their spending on raising the citizens’ awareness of a healthy way of living rather on providing timely treatments when the diseases have occurred. Without question, “prevention is better than cure”, therefore the government should have policies in making its people adopt a healthy lifestyle. Through national and local awareness enhancement campaigns, people can be better informed of potential health risks associated with their bad habits. For example, instead of consuming too much fast food on a daily basis, teenagers or busy workers will therefore choose more nutritious foods or try to cook by themselves, which can prevent the high incidence of obesity, diabetes and other fatal diseases. In addition to their long-term positive effects on people’s frame of mind, such campaigns are cost-effective. What needed is budget on conveying messages on the mass media like television, newspapers or conducting various workshops to share advice and experience to the public. By contrast, the medical treatment fees for a single patient with cancer disease like liver or lung cancer can amount to dozens of millions or billions, meaning a huge financial burden to the state and the family. However, the government cannot ignore its obligation in improving their medical system as well as assisting the already ill patients covering their medical fees. The hospital fees are so expensive in some countries that only the rich can afford, so the government’s role in offering aid for treating the sick is a moral duty. As well as this, constructing more hospitals and buying modern equipment should also be put into consideration as it is more effective in the short run. In conclusion, raising the level of public awareness is more important, but the government cannot neglect its concern on the supply of medical treatment for those currently being ill.
The world health care system has been facing enormous pressure due to frequent outbreaks of diseases. It
is argued
that the state should increase their spending on raising the citizens’ awareness of a healthy way of living
rather
on providing timely treatments when the diseases have occurred. Without question, “prevention is better than cure”,
therefore
the
government
should have policies in making its
people
adopt a healthy lifestyle. Through national and local awareness enhancement campaigns,
people
can be better informed of potential health
risks
associated with their
bad
habits.
For example
,
instead
of consuming too much
fast
food on a daily basis,
teenagers
or busy workers will
therefore
choose more nutritious foods or try to cook by themselves, which can
prevent
the high incidence of obesity, diabetes and other fatal diseases.

In addition
to their long-term
positive
effects on
people
’s frame of mind, such campaigns
are cost
-effective. What needed is budget on conveying messages on the mass media like television, newspapers or conducting various workshops to share advice and experience to the public. By contrast, the
medical
treatment fees for a single patient with cancer disease like liver or lung cancer can amount to dozens of millions or billions, meaning a huge financial burden to the state and the family.

However
, the
government
cannot
ignore
its obligation in improving their
medical
system
as well
as assisting the already ill patients covering their
medical
fees. The hospital fees are
so
expensive in
some
countries that
only
the rich can afford,
so
the
government’s
role in offering aid for treating the sick is a moral duty.
As well
as this, constructing more hospitals and buying modern equipment should
also
be put
into consideration as it is more effective in the short run.

In conclusion
, raising the level of public awareness is more
important
,
but
the
government
cannot neglect its concern on the supply of
medical
treatment for those
currently
being ill.
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IELTS essay It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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