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Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them? v.1

Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 1
Excessive consumption of certain types of food products is demonstrated to be detrimental for health as smoking. While a school of thought holds that governments should prohibit promotions of these certain food products as cigarettes in many nations, I believe that there are more viable measures to alleviate the overeating phenomenon. The idea that forbidding advertising campaigns of some types of food is of neccesity to deal with overeating is not unfounded. The key rationale is that if these commodities are hindered from promoting on some social platforms such as Facebook or Instagram as well as on TV, they cannot be widespreadly publicized to their target audience. Therefore, the number of consumers of these foods may reduce. However, this view is valid to some extent. Given that banning advertisments of foods may be fultile to decrease the number of people eating them. Cigarettes are a case in point. There are more and more citizens in a lot of countries who addict this product, regardless of forbidding policies from authorities. On the other hand, I would argue that there are superior ways to diminish this phenomenon. To begin with, new education projects should be adopted in schools to help children understand about adverse effects of overeating to their well-being. To be specific, some curriculums such as obesity or other health-related problems should be added in these classes. Another method to tackle this problem is that governments should levy a higher tax on these kinds of food, hence increasing costs of these food products. By this way, people may be discouraged from consuming them due to their high prices. In conclusion, overeating issue can be effectively mitigated by banning their commercial campaigns, there are some more feasible methods to reserve this phenomenon.
Excessive consumption of certain types of
food
products
is demonstrated
to be detrimental for health as smoking. While a school of
thought
holds that
governments
should prohibit promotions of these certain
food
products
as cigarettes in
many
nations, I believe that there are more viable measures to alleviate the overeating phenomenon.

The
idea
that forbidding advertising campaigns of
some
types of
food
is of
neccesity
to deal with overeating is not unfounded. The key rationale is that if these commodities
are hindered
from promoting on
some
social platforms such as Facebook or Instagram
as well
as on TV, they cannot be
widespreadly
publicized to their target audience.
Therefore
, the number of consumers of these
foods
may
reduce
.
However
, this view is valid to
some
extent.
Given
that banning
advertisments
of
foods
may be
fultile
to decrease the number of
people
eating them. Cigarettes are a case in point. There are more and more citizens in
a lot of
countries who addict this
product
, regardless of forbidding policies from authorities.

On the other hand
, I would argue that there are superior ways to diminish this phenomenon. To
begin
with, new education projects should
be adopted
in schools to
help
children understand about adverse effects of overeating to their well-being. To be specific,
some
curriculums such as obesity or other health-related problems should be
added
in these classes. Another method to tackle this problem is that
governments
should levy a higher tax on these kinds of
food
,
hence
increasing costs of these
food
products
. By this way,
people
may
be discouraged
from consuming them due to their high prices.

In conclusion
, overeating issue can be
effectively
mitigated by banning their commercial campaigns, there are
some
more feasible methods to reserve this phenomenon.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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