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Some people believe that everyone should be free to make their own lifestyle choices, even if those choices are unhealthy. Other people think that the government should intervene to influence people’s choices, for example by putting high taxes on unheal v.1

Some people believe that everyone should be free to make their own lifestyle choices, even if those choices are unhealthy. Other people think that the government should intervene to influence people’s choices, for example by putting high taxes on unheal v. 1
As an independent civilian, a person should be free to do whatever he/she wants until it is legal and not hurting others. Although, people believe in the government' s intervention to maintain a healthy society, wouldn' t it be proven unsatisfactory for some people? This essay discusses both the free life of the community as well as government' s intervention about unhealthy products followed by my own perspectives. An independent country itself means freedom of citizens to make their own lifestyle choices irrespective of health. According to the law and legislation of any free country, people might have their own different interests and choices. For example, people may eat street food or have an addiction to alcohol or cigarettes for their own satisfaction and enjoyment. They will themselves be the victim of the after-effects of whatever activities they are doing and it won' t harm other people at all. However, the working government can decide about the safety of people by doing the sanity check all the available products through a certain process such as ISI and FSSAI - An international organization to do the health-check of a product. Also, it may impose a heavy tax on unhealthy products to prevent their consumptions. This would promote only healthy food in the market and may improve overall public health in the long term. But, this certification process may have certain loop wholes and it cannot cover all the products ideally. Also, it can be biased as it would be done by a person at last. Moreover, it may be proven unsatisfactory for people who prefer unhygienic food and alcohol. In conclusion, according to me, although unhealthy products may be prevented and overall health can be improved by putting high tax, it would be proven unsatisfactory for some people having all rights of independent civilians. Also, the screening process itself cannot be implemented ideally and might be proven biased. Therefore, people should be free to consume anything irrespective of the product' s quality.
As an independent civilian, a person should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to do whatever he/she wants until it is legal and not hurting others. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s intervention to maintain a healthy society,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t it be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proven
unsatisfactory for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
? This essay discusses both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
life of the community
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s intervention about unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspectives.

An independent country itself means freedom of citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lifestyle choices irrespective of health. According to the law and legislation of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests and choices.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may eat street food or have an addiction to alcohol or cigarettes for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
satisfaction and enjoyment. They will themselves be the victim of the after-effects of whatever activities they are doing and it
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t harm other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at all.

However
, the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can decide about the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by doing the sanity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
all the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through a certain process such as ISI and
Possible spelling mistake found.
FSSAI
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
An international organization to do the health-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Also
, it may impose a heavy tax on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
. This would promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
healthy food in the market and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
public health in the long term.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this certification process may have certain loop wholes and it cannot cover all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
ideally
.
Also
, it can
be biased
as it would
be done
by a person at last.
Moreover
, it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proven
unsatisfactory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer unhygienic food and alcohol.

In conclusion
, according to me, although unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and
overall
health can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by putting high tax, it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proven
unsatisfactory for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having all rights of independent civilians.
Also
, the screening process itself cannot
be implemented
ideally
and might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proven
biased.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to consume anything irrespective of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
product&
#039; s quality.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that everyone should be free to make their own lifestyle choices, even if those choices are unhealthy. Other people think that the government should intervene to influence people’s choices, for example by putting high taxes on unheal v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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