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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v.12

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v. 12
The invention of the computer is referred to as an epic among the other technological breakthroughs of last century. The role of computers in today’s lifestyle has reached such dizzy heights than anyone could ever imagine. Righteously, its use in various fields of medicine, crime investigation and even aerospace engineering is explicit. In the midst of a computer-driven world, its future purposes are infinite. The affinity that human has developed for this technological gizmo is mammoth, and this dependency, for many is moot. In the present scenario, majority of the fields, mankind thrives on are revolutionised by computers. Its significance in the medical field, for instance, is quite imperative. For example, from the safeguarding of patient medical records to the automated and meticulous interpretation of investigation reports, are computerised. The role of computers in crime investigation is rather inevitable nowadays. Global satellite tracking on personal gadgets of criminals to chase them down would exemplify this. Another significant technological impact computers made is in aero-spacing, where, even flying an aircraft has become computerised, dubious whether Charles Babbage envisaged the same? The future use of computers by the humankind is endless. To name or pinpoint on its future prospectives, would be cumbersome or rather impossible. Some believe that in near future, computers will serve the purpose of being the 'first hand 'of help to humans. A globalised world under the umbrella of the computer revolution is not farsighted as before. The very existence computer operated human robots that could even replace a human, is not a myth anymore. Now having discoursed, about the computer revolution and its effects on mankind, a question of one getting dependent on computers is impeccable. In this globalised world, computer addiction is a major concern unattended. Children spending long hours on computers and its misuse in workplaces by employees is ubiquitous and a generally accorded bane. In my opinion, as humans, one should be able to imbibe the virtues and reject the vice, when it comes to using computers.
The invention of the computer
is referred
to as an epic among the other technological breakthroughs of last century. The role of computers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s lifestyle has reached such dizzy heights than anyone could ever imagine.
Righteously
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in various fields of medicine, crime investigation and even aerospace engineering is explicit. In the midst of a computer-driven world, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
purposes are infinite. The affinity that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
has developed for this technological gizmo is mammoth, and this dependency, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
is moot.

In the present scenario,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the fields, mankind thrives on are
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
by computers. Its significance in the medical field,
for instance
, is quite imperative.
For example
, from the safeguarding of patient medical records to the automated and meticulous interpretation of investigation reports, are
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
. The role of computers in crime investigation is
rather
inevitable nowadays. Global satellite tracking on personal gadgets of criminals to chase them down would exemplify this. Another significant technological impact computers made is in aero-spacing, where, even flying an aircraft has become
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
, dubious whether Charles Babbage envisaged the same?

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers by the humankind is endless. To name or pinpoint on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectives
, would be cumbersome or
rather
impossible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that in near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, computers will serve the purpose of being the '
first
hand 'of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. A
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world under the umbrella of the computer revolution is not farsighted as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence computer operated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
robots that could even replace a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, is not a myth anymore.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
having discoursed, about the computer revolution and its effects on mankind, a question of one getting dependent on computers is impeccable. In this
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world, computer addiction is a major concern unattended. Children spending long hours on computers and its misuse in workplaces by employees is ubiquitous and a
generally
accorded bane.

In my opinion, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, one should be able to imbibe the virtues and reject the vice, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to using computers.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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