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People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v.13

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 13
Many people choose to go to college or university and there are a variety of reasons why they choose to do so. For instance, some may prefer further studies to gain educational qualifications required for a competent workplace and high career prospects; meanwhile, a few others might choose to pursue their studies to gain new experiences compared to the very structured form of education experienced in high school. On the other hand, pursuing higher studies seem as the only choice or as the next step that is assumed to be taken. Considering the first reason into consideration, higher studies are indeed required to secure a high paid and reputable designation at a workplace. This is because many employers set competitive recruitment standards to hire the most qualified and suitable candidate for the vacancy. As a result, applicants need not only extensive work experience but also the educational requirements that can enhance working knowledge. Moving onto the second choice as to why people tend to go to college or university is as mentioned before, to gain new experience since high schools set a very structured study environment. This is at least true considering high schools in Sri Lanka where a fixed syllabus is supposed to be followed and any other additional topics or subjects not included in the syllabus will not be taught or considered. Therefore, students are forced to study only what is taught. However, life in college or university is very different as the individual is given more freedom to research on other areas of interest and have the space to be more creative. On the contrary, once again taking the Sri Lankan culture into consideration, most individuals are convinced by parents to pursue higher studies as it sets them apart from individuals who start work immediately upon completing high school. Therefore, pursuing higher studies is indeed a prestige and a privilege as not all students have the ability or opportunity to do so. As a result, attending college or university can sometimes not be exclusively the individual’s choice but merely an obligation that is meant to be met in order to satisfy parental standards or requirements. In conclusion, my personal opinions are as mentioned above but there are numerous other reasons as to why someone would want to go to college or university and may vary from one individual to another. However, though the reasons tend to differ, it is always admirable that many people choose to pursue higher studies than discontinuing studies after high school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to go to college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may prefer
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to gain educational qualifications required for a competent workplace and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
career prospects; meanwhile, a few others might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to gain new experiences compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
structured form of education experienced in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, pursuing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
seem as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choice or as the
next
step that
is assumed
to
be taken
.

Considering the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
into consideration, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are
indeed
required to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paid and reputable designation at a workplace. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers set competitive recruitment standards to hire the most qualified and suitable candidate for the vacancy.
As a result
, applicants need not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
extensive work experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the educational requirements that can enhance working knowledge.

Moving onto the second choice as to why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to go to college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is as mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, to gain new experience since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
set a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
environment. This is at least true considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Sri Lanka where a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
syllabus
is supposed
to
be followed
and any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
additional topics or subjects not included in the syllabus will not
be taught
or considered.
Therefore
, students
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
what
is taught
.
However
, life in college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more freedom to research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas of interest and have the space to be more creative.

On the contrary
, once again taking the Sri Lankan culture into consideration, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are convinced
by parents to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as it sets them apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work immediately upon completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Therefore
, pursuing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is
indeed
a prestige and a privilege as not all students have the ability or opportunity to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
As a result
, attending college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not be exclusively the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
merely
an obligation that
is meant
to
be met
in order to satisfy parental standards or requirements.

In conclusion
, my personal opinions are as mentioned above
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
as to why someone would want to go to college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and may vary from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to another.
However
, though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
tend to differ, it is always admirable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
than discontinuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
418 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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