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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v.10

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v. 10
With Globalization, computerization is becoming predominant in almost all the sectors of our economies like in the offices, medical systems, aviation and so on. The future looks to leverage this automation in more fields like space science through robotics control, and in education for a continuous learning. I feel that this technology is making human work more efficient, and will continue to be propitious for mankind. In this essay we will discuss this in detail and will draw an inference. With advancements in technology, this has become an integral part of our life. However, people perceive that in ultimate computers will be used right from the start of learning activity of an offspring to almost every potential field of a human kind. To illustrate, the process of continuous online learning in education system globally has already been initiated, as a result of closure of schools and colleges because of COVID-19. Moreover, this will also find its essentially in easing space science through robotics, which again has already been conceived by the scientists. Hence, next generation tends to use this in almost every field and space. What will humans do, if the system will do everything? Although, this is contentious, still, it is to be understood that this arrangement is man made and is developed to ease out the learning and application of various subjects, furthermore, it cannot challenge the existence of humanity. Additionally, this automation has made data to be stored in central locations, which further can be accessed at any point of time at any place, thus, making this huge world a globally connected village. To illustrate, workday has made all functions within the organizations integrated. Without this mechanism, I think the global work phenomenon will change into individual day to day efforts with different results. Therefore, it is inevitable to see human life without this function. Having said that, the prospective of computing is the prospective of mankind's prosperity. To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that, the next generation is certain to see every single learning through this mechanism. The Computer has always been a transformation for human interest, and it will continue to be a part of every association. I personally feel that this device has changed our lives since last two decades, and has assured us an up-gradation of human potential through its multifarious applications. I am not seeing it pernicious in the subsequent from any perspective, as it is made and controlled by humans only.
With Globalization, computerization is becoming predominant in almost all the sectors of our economies like in the offices, medical systems, aviation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The future looks to leverage this automation in more fields like space science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
robotics control, and in education for a continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. I feel that this technology is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
work more efficient, and will continue to be propitious for mankind. In this essay we will discuss this in detail and will draw an inference.

With advancements in technology, this has become an integral part of our life.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive that in ultimate computers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
right from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
activity of an offspring to almost every potential field of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind. To illustrate, the process of continuous online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in education system globally has already
been initiated
,
as a result
of closure of schools and colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of COVID-19.
Moreover
, this will
also
find its
essentially
in easing space science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
robotics, which again has already
been conceived
by the scientists.
Hence
,
next
generation tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this in almost every field and space.

What will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do, if the system will do everything? Although, this is contentious,
still
, it is to
be understood
that this arrangement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made and
is developed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and application of various subjects,
furthermore
, it cannot challenge the existence of humanity.
Additionally
, this automation has made data to
be stored
in central locations, which
further
can
be accessed
at any point of time at any place,
thus
, making this huge world a globally connected village. To illustrate, workday has made all functions within the organizations integrated. Without this mechanism, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the global work phenomenon will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into individual
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
efforts with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
results.
Therefore
, it is inevitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life without this function. Having said that, the prospective of computing is the prospective of mankind's prosperity.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that, the
next
generation is certain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
this mechanism. The Computer has always been a transformation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interest, and it will continue to be a part of every association. I
personally
feel that this device has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since last two decades, and has assured us an up-gradation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
its multifarious applications. I am not seeing it pernicious in the subsequent from any perspective, as it
is made
and controlled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
420 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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