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We Are Becoming Increasingly Dependent On Computers. Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample. We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes v.1

We Are Becoming Increasingly Dependent On Computers. Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample. We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes v. 1
Nowadays, people depend on computers to a huge extent in almost all aspects of life including healthcare, corporate world, crime investigation and even in flying planes. This essay agrees that our dependence on computers has more merits than drawbacks. Computers made human life very convenient. This is due to the fact that using them enables us to accomplish things fully without making tremendous amount of efforts. For instance, in the business world, you can make advertisements which are entirely digital and online using computers, so there is no need to spend a lot of your time and money to make banners, posters and other sorts of direct marketing. Thus, computers definitely made our lives easier. In brief, the use of computers and technology has incredibly affected us in a positive way. Although computers can be used currently in a lot of different fields of life, their advantages are not limited, and with the help of technology, they can perform more and more creative functions in the future. The reasons for this is that more and more advances are introduced to the technology every day. To illustrate, a couple of years ago, we did not have the opportunity to identify the location of a person who is remote from us, however, nowadays, we have the ability to track anybody using computer-based GPS system. Therefore, computers are expected to make outstanding turning points for people’s lives in the future. To conclude, computers have made our world a better and more convenient place to live in, moreover, using them will keep making miracles to humans at every aspect of life.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
depend on computers to a huge extent in almost all aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
including healthcare, corporate world, crime investigation and even in flying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that our dependence on computers has more merits than drawbacks.

Computers made human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient.
This is due to the fact that
using them enables us to accomplish things
fully
without making tremendous amount of efforts.
For instance
, in the business world, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
advertisements which are
entirely
digital and online using computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
your time and money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
banners, posters and other sorts of direct marketing.
Thus
, computers definitely made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.
In brief
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and technology has
incredibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
us in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

Although computers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
currently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, their advantages are not limited, and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology, they can perform more and more creative functions in the future. The reasons for this is that more and more advances
are introduced
to the technology every day. To illustrate, a couple of years ago, we did not have the opportunity to identify the location of a person who is remote from us,
however
, nowadays, we have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
anybody
The pronoun 'anybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
using
computer-based GPS system.
Therefore
, computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
outstanding turning points for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future.

To conclude
, computers have made our world a better and more convenient place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in,
moreover
, using them will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
making miracles to humans at every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay We Are Becoming Increasingly Dependent On Computers. Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample. We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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