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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.1

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1
It is undoubted that job satisfaction is always the most crucial factor which gives a strong sense of well-being to people who seem to immerse themselves into work. This essay will first focus on what elements contribute to job satisfaction, and it will then address the question of whether job satisfaction is realistic or not. There are some recognizable factors that have positive influences on how people feel in work. Firstly, good working environment holds a vital position in job satisfaction. Should employees work in friendly and safe environment, they will feel secure because there are no surrounding latent risks such as aggressive coworkers or even downgraded building with a risk of collapse threatening their life. THEREFORE, they can undertake high responsibility for their tasks and collaborate well with colleagues to ACHIEVE BETTER PERFORMANCE. Secondly, promotion opportunity is also an influential motive that satisfies people in work experience. It is believed that some employees are simply interested in their current positions providing that their efforts are recognized by the company and they are given the chance of climbing up the ladder; as a result, they can broaden experience in the higher position. Finally, a company granting generous allowances may make a significant contribution to the job satisfaction of employees BECAUSE OF RESPECT AND APPRECIATION THEY RECEIVE. Unsurprisingly, people always have a high demand for entertainment and relaxation, so even they are entitled to a meagre travel allowance, which can satisfy them a lot. However, there is no possibility that everyone working in different fields can all get job satisfaction owing to the fact that each person possesses their own personality and standpoint and has jobs in various aspects with a distinct environment. Especially, with those who are workers have severe working experience, they can’t get paid as much as their production. Even though staff can work in an ideal workplace, they might be dissatisfied with their work due to stringent regulations and prissy boss. To conclude, it seems to have so many factors that can bring people job satisfaction but I still believe that most of the employees can’t get satisfied with their jobs due to several reasons such as high working pressure, inadequate compensation and average salary.
It
is undoubted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is always the most crucial factor which gives a strong sense of well-being to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who seem to immerse themselves into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay will
first
focus on what elements contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, and it will then address
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is realistic or not.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recognizable factors that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment holds a vital position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in friendly and safe environment, they will feel secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no surrounding latent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as aggressive coworkers or even downgraded building with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of collapse threatening their life.
THEREFORE
, they can undertake high responsibility for their tasks and collaborate well with colleagues to ACHIEVE BETTER PERFORMANCE.
Secondly
, promotion opportunity is
also
an influential motive that satisfies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience. It
is believed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
simply
interested in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
positions providing that their efforts
are recognized
by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance of climbing up the ladder;
as a result
, they can broaden experience in the higher position.
Finally
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
granting generous allowances may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF RESPECT AND APPRECIATION THEY RECEIVE.
Unsurprisingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have a high demand for entertainment and relaxation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even they
are entitled
to a
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
travel allowance, which can satisfy them a lot.

However
, there is no possibility that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields can all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
owing to the fact that each person possesses their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personality and standpoint and has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in various aspects with a distinct environment.
Especially
, with those who are workers have severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience, they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid as much as their production.
Even though
staff can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an ideal workplace, they might
be dissatisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to stringent regulations and prissy boss.

To conclude
, it seems to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
believe that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to several reasons such as high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
pressure, inadequate compensation and average salary.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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