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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits? v.1

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits? v. 1
One of the most challenging problems for environmentalists is water contamination. There are various causes leading to this type of pollution as well as severe effects on people and the biosphere. One of the major causes of water pollution is emissions from vehicles, factories, electrical facilities, and other human activities. When it rains, those pollutants that have dissipated into the atmosphere are washed from by the rain and are either absorbed by the soil or fall into oceans, rivers, lakes, and other water bodies and enter the water cycle. Moreover, the polluted rain that is absorbed by the soil has a high chance of reaching deep water reservoirs like aquifers. Filtering is not a viable option since it is almost impossible to purify such large amounts of water. Another main cause of water pollution is dumping waste in water bodies. Waste must be processed accordingly in waste processing centres to eliminate environmental damage, yet sometimes it is discarded in damaging ways to the environment, for example, plastic pollution in the oceans. The effects can be extremely severe on both humans and animals alike, and specifically on endangered species. For people and animals that live on land, the main danger is water poisoning, which leads to drought, famine, and irrigation problems. Additionally, sea creatures also suffer from tainted water. For instance, many sea animals died because of the consumption of waste dumped into the oceans or being suffocated to death by plastic waste. To conclude, water contamination is one of the most catastrophic environmental problems. Emissions and waste dumping are two of the major causes of this problem. Not only does this type of pollution threaten marine life to go extinct, but it also has severe impacts on humans as well.
One of the most challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for environmentalists is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination. There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
leading to this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
as well
as severe effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the biosphere.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is emissions from vehicles, factories, electrical facilities, and other human activities. When it rains, those pollutants that have dissipated into the atmosphere
are washed
from by the rain and are either absorbed by the soil or fall into oceans, rivers, lakes, and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies and enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cycle.
Moreover
, the polluted rain that
is absorbed
by the soil has a high chance of reaching deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
reservoirs like aquifers. Filtering is not a viable option since it is almost impossible to purify such large amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Another main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is dumping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Waste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be processed
accordingly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
processing
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to eliminate environmental damage,
yet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it
is discarded
in damaging ways to the environment,
for example
, plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in the oceans.

The effects can be
extremely
severe on both humans and animals alike, and
specifically
on endangered species. For
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and animals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on land, the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
poisoning, which leads to drought, famine, and irrigation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Additionally
, sea creatures
also
suffer from tainted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sea animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
dumped into the oceans or
being suffocated
to death by plastic waste.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination is one of the most catastrophic environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Emissions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
dumping are two of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
threaten marine life to go extinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has severe impacts on humans
as well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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