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Watching television is bad for children. v.4

Watching television is bad for children. v. 4
Television is ubiquitous these days; I have not come across single household where there is no TV. But is watching TV good for children? Well, I am a strong believer that anything done in moderation is good and same goes with children watching TV. Firstly, with the omnipresence of TV, it is impossible to keep children away from it. Moreover, TV provides an efficient source of learning for children if right channels are watched. We generally are able to grasp and remember more things when we see and hear rather than read it and here is where TV is really useful. These days we have different channels focusing only on children like cartoons or more educational channels like animal planet, discovery channel etc. All these channels help in educating children in an effective manner. It is often seen when the children are really young around 1-2 years, they react to TV; whenever a song is being played, they start dancing, and they often listen to songs and starts singing. This definitely suggests that TV helps children in their development and make them active. Admittedly, TV also has some negative impacts on children. Sometimes, they squander too much time in watching TV and watching wrong channels can also have a negative influence on them. Therefore it is of utmost importance that parents keep a close eye on their children. With the advent of technology, we now have televisions with child lock system in place, which could prevent children from watching irrelevant and adult channels. Parents should extol the importance of watching news channels to develop overall general knowledge of children. When I was growing up, my parents made sure that I watch the news for at least half an hour in a day. This really helped me in improving my General Knowledge and I gradually developed the interest in politics and also watching different debates and group discussions helped me improving my speaking skill and as a result, I won several prizes in debates and quizzes at school and college level. In a nutshell, I think as every coin as two sides, so does television. Watching TV in moderation and under parents’ guidance is good for children entertainment and learning but it is important that parents keep a check on the channels that their children watch and the amount of time being spent on watching TV.
Television is ubiquitous these days; I have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across single household where there is no TV.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
? Well, I am a strong believer that anything done in moderation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and same goes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching TV.

Firstly
, with the omnipresence of TV, it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
away from it.
Moreover
, TV provides an efficient source of learning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
. We
generally
are able to grasp and remember more things when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and hear
rather
than read it and here is where TV is
really
useful. These days we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like cartoons or more educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
like animal planet, discovery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
etc. All these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider replacing "in an effective manner" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective manner
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
really
young around 1-2 years, they react to TV; whenever a song is
being played
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
dancing, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listen to songs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
singing. This definitely suggests that TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their development and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them active.

Admittedly
, TV
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they squander too much time in watching TV and watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
can
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is of utmost importance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close eye on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. With the advent of technology, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have televisions with child lock system in place, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from watching irrelevant and adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should extol the importance of watching news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
to develop
overall
general knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When I was growing up, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
made sure that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the news for at least half an hour in a day. This
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in improving my General Knowledge and I
gradually
developed the interest in politics and
also
watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
debates and group discussions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me
The verb 'and' is used with an infinitive: "to improve" or "improve".
improving
my speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
as a result
, I won several prizes in debates and quizzes at school and college level.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as every coin as two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does television. Watching TV in moderation and under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
guidance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
entertainment and learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and the amount of time
being spent
on watching TV.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Watching television is bad for children. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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