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Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Watching television is bad for children. v. 1
Watching television is what the young generation do in their leisure time. Watching television regularly causes health-related problems. This essay will be presenting the details as well as my opinion on the conclusion part. Recently, Children are so addictive to watch television which results in eye-related problems. Most children frequently watch television while they are eating a meal or other activities at home, Which create stress on their cornea and at the early stage, pupil starts to wear glasses. For example, There was a survey conducted by the University of Toronto regarding people who wear glasses and the result was from 2000 to 2017 approximately 25 percentile of children wear glasses due to hereditary problems, 65 percentile of children wear because of eye issues caused by frequently watching tv or playing video games on television. The habit of watching tv can cause a serious issue like colour blindness. Furthermore, Sometimes watching television can create a gap between children and parents or friends. Some shows give false information to the children which impact their social life. For instance, There was a cartoon broadcasted in Indian tv in the year 2007, which impacted a communication gap between children and their parents. The cartoon was about a child who describes his life without parents and gives more importance to friends. In other words, television can create a social gap which can be a huge problem. To sum up, In my opinion, watching television can be very harmful. However, if they allowed watching television at a specific time these issues can be solved. In addition, watching frequently can cause a serious problem.
Watching
television
is what the young generation do in their leisure time. Watching
television
regularly
causes health-related
problems
. This essay will be presenting the
details
as well
as my opinion on the conclusion part.

Recently,
Children
are
so
addictive to
watch
television
which results in eye-related
problems
. Most
children
frequently
watch
television
while they are eating a meal or other activities at home, Which create
stress
on their cornea and at the early stage, pupil
starts
to
wear
glasses.
For example
, There was a survey conducted by the University of Toronto regarding
people
who
wear
glasses and the result was from 2000 to 2017 approximately 25
percentile
of
children
wear
glasses due to hereditary
problems
, 65
percentile
of
children
wear
because
of eye issues caused by
frequently
watching
tv
or playing video games on
television
. The habit of watching
tv
can cause a serious issue like
colour
blindness.

Furthermore
,
Sometimes
watching
television
can create a gap between
children
and parents or friends.
Some
shows
give false information to the
children
which impact their social life.
For instance
, There was a cartoon broadcasted in Indian
tv
in the year 2007, which impacted a communication gap between
children
and their parents. The cartoon was about a child who
describes
his life without parents and gives more importance to friends.
In other words
,
television
can create a social gap which can be a huge problem.

To sum up, In my opinion, watching
television
can be
very
harmful.
However
, if they
allowed
watching
television
at a specific time these issues can
be solved
.
In addition
, watching
frequently
can cause a serious
problem
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Watching television is bad for children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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