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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.7

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 7
Present technology makes a lot of people communicate with others has not same the past. This essay agrees that smartphone and internet affected the family relationship in positive ways. Initially, today people are living in the digital age, which connects with each other around the world is convenience. Especially Family members can have easy ways to contact more than before because they can use a mobile application on their smartphone to make live video calls to another person in their family anytime anywhere. For example, Thai people are commonly used mobile application called “LINE” for communication at present, it is very simple, while family members can connect together when their mobile connection to the internet. In the past communication between people who are not in the same place is difficult, whereas nowadays fantastic technology makes it easier, this was a positive development in the people interaction. Students who study aboard or workers who work far from their home can stay in touch with their family, they can talk to their parents or their children like face-to-face talking while they are not staying in front of each other. This effect of technology makes people feel happier and also do not feel desolate or depressed when people cannot stay with their family. For instance, my Burmese worker work and stay in Thailand, she can contact with her daughter at Myanmar easily by using the mobile application on her smartphone and internet. In conclusion, present technology changes the family relationship a lot, it makes family members are closer and happier.
Present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with others has not same the past. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that smartphone and internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.

Initially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in the digital age, which connects with each other around the world is convenience.
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
members can have easy ways to contact more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mobile application on their smartphone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
video calls to another person in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
anytime anywhere.
For example
, Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mobile application called “LINE” for communication at present, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can connect together when their mobile connection to the internet.

In the past communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not in the same place is difficult, whereas nowadays fantastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it easier, this was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interaction. Students who study aboard or workers who work far from their home can stay in touch with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they can talk to their parents or their children like face-to-face talking while they are not staying in front of each other. This effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel happier and
also
do not feel desolate or depressed when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, my Burmese worker work and stay in Thailand, she can contact with her daughter at Myanmar
easily
by using the mobile application on her smartphone and internet.

In conclusion
, present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship a lot, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are closer and happier.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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