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The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 1
Governments in some countries spend large amounts of money on space exploration programmes. I completely agree with the idea that these are a waste of money, and that the funds should be allocated to public services. There are several reasons why space programmes should be abandoned. Firstly, it is extremely expensive to train scientists and other staff involved with space missions, and facilities and equipment also come at a huge cost to the government. Secondly, these programmes do not benefit normal people in our daily lives; they are simply vanity projects for politicians. Finally, many missions to space fail completely, and the smallest technological error can cost astronauts their lives. The Challenger space shuttle disaster showed us that space travel is extremely dangerous, and in my opinion it is not worth the risk. I believe that the money from space programmes should go to vital public services instead. It is much cheaper to train doctors, teachers, police and other public service workers than it is to train astronauts or the scientists and engineers who work on space exploration projects. Furthermore, public servants do jobs that have a positive impact on every member of society. For example, we all use schools, hospitals and roads, and we all need the security that the police provide. If governments reallocated the money spent on space travel and research, many thousands of people could be lifted out of poverty or given a better quality of life. In conclusion, my view is that governments should spend money on services that benefit all members of society, and it is wrong to waste resources on projects that do not improve our everyday lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries spend large amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration

Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these are a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and that the funds should
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
should
be abandoned
.
Firstly
, it is

extremely
expensive to train scientists and other staff involved with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions, and facilities and equipment
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a huge cost to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Secondly
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
do not benefit normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
; they are
simply
vanity projects for politicians.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
missions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
fail completely, and the smallest technological error can cost astronauts their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The Challenger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
shuttle disaster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
travel is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, and in my opinion it is not worth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
should go to vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services
instead
. It is much cheaper to train doctors, teachers, police and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
service workers than it is to train astronauts or the scientists and engineers who work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration projects.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
servants do jobs that have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on every member of society.
For example
, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
schools, hospitals and roads, and we all need the security that the police provide. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
reallocated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
travel and research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
be lifted
out of poverty or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a better quality of life.

In conclusion
, my view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on services that benefit all members of society, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to waste resources on projects that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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