Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. v.2

Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. v. 2
Nowadays, a growing number of people prefer to conduct tour trips into other countries. The tourism industry has become a matter of concern and significant investment has been injected to develop impressive destinations for tourists. But there are a lot of debates about conflicts which come into existence when a number of people intend to enter into other societies. Two groups of people opine differently. One group believes that tourists should follow customs, rules and behaviours of host countries. On the other side, the second group of people believe that tourists should bring modern lifestyle and tradition in order to improve their lifestyle. This issue will be analysed in detail and suggestion will be provided for this sophisticated matter in the following section. Interestingly, some people believe tourists should follow customs and rules of host countries. The reason behind this is that they are worried about changes in their lifestyle and customs because they do not want to interrupt their customs by outsiders. If tourists bring their behaviour and rules then local people are likely to copy their lifestyle and dress wearing habits. For instance, Saudi Arabia is one of the strict countries that don’t show western dresses like short ladies dresses and alcohol is also strictly prohibited.   Its main motive is to refrain local people to adopt foreigners’ way of living style. However, on the other hand, many people believe that tourists should allow bringing their behaviours, rules and customs with them when they are tourists in other countries and the host country should welcome their lifestyle and tradition. For instance, Emirates is one of the Muslim countries but it welcomes all customs and traditions. For example, Europeans are allowed to drink alcohol and ladies are allowed to wear short dresses. Moreover, tourists also wish to look like local in any country and they desire to wear local dresses like in Muslim countries ladies wear specific dresses. Tourists also find chances to introduce their culture diversity and customs. Tourist industry should make potential to provide full freedom and they feel like own homeland. Furthermore, tourists are an important source for host countries to increase national income substantially. In conclusion, tourists can have excellent tourism experience by respecting others religion, culture and tradition. Therefore, host countries are also responsible for providing extra freedom without strict rules so that they can visit again the same destination. There are competitions are going on in different countries in order to provide the best visiting place and win competition by increasing numbers of guests.
Nowadays, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to conduct tour trips into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The tourism industry has become a matter of concern and significant investment has
been injected
to develop impressive destinations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debates about conflicts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into existence when a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intend to enter into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
societies. Two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine
differently
. One group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should follow customs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, the second group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should bring modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. This issue will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in detail and suggestion will
be provided
for this sophisticated matter in the following section.

Interestingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should follow customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The reason behind this is that they
are worried
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and customs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to interrupt their customs by outsiders. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
bring their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
wearing habits.
For instance
, Saudi Arabia is one of the strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
like short ladies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
and alcohol is
also
strictly
prohibited.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Its main motive is to refrain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adopt foreigners’ way of living style.

However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
bringing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and customs with them when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should welcome their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
.
For instance
, Emirates is one of the Muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it welcomes all customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
For example
, Europeans are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drink alcohol and ladies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to wear short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
also
wish to look like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
in any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they desire to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
like in Muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ladies wear specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
also
find chances to introduce their culture diversity and customs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
industry should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
potential to provide full
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
freedom and
they feel like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homeland.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to increase national income
substantially
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can have excellent tourism experience by respecting others religion, culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
also
responsible for providing extra freedom without strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can visit again the same destination. There are competitions are going on in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to provide the best visiting place and win competition by increasing numbers of guests.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts