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Many employees are now required to wear a uniform as part of their company policy and this has many significant advantages. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Do the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many employees are now required to wear a uniform as part of their company policy and this has many significant advantages. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Do the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Undoubtedly, variety rules are usually considered by different companies for their employees. Using of unique clothing, ordered by managers, can have some influences, and I believe that the positive effects are more considerable, helping people to have better unity, responsibility, and the company would have better productivity. Firstly, wearing a particular cloth can raise workers to have more harmony. Clearly, wearing different colours or patterns of clothing can induce employees to have different opinions about their duties, while those wearing one specific uniform usually prefer to follow the group and have less conflict with other colleagues. In this way, as a doctor working in a hospital, I feel more correlation and have better feeling with hospital crews the day I wear my white coat than when I use the regular one. Secondly, it assists crews to be more responsible. Obviously, to reach their goals, they will always try to think as a member of a group when they use individual clothing, and they undertake their duties accurately. For example, The United Nation employees, who always wear a unique uniform, would not achieve their goals to control the propagation of Ebola virus in Africa. Although their nationality was different, their wearing was one of the several reasons that increased their responsibility, and they succeeded. Finally, this method can enhance productivity. Statistically, reported by an international economy magazine, those organisations imposing strict rules on their employees to use uniform have a higher rate of production and sales. When workers wear the same cloth, they motivated to work harder, causing companies to have more highly quality and quantity of goods; however, in those businesses people using different clothing usually have less productivity. In conclusion, having harmony in crews' clothing, enterprises earn more profits. Their employees are comparably more cooperative and responsible with each other, and the rate of profitability can be inclined far dramatically.
Undoubtedly
, variety
rules
are
usually
considered by
different
companies
for their
employees
. Using of unique clothing, ordered by managers, can have
some
influences, and I believe that the
positive
effects are more considerable, helping
people
to have better unity, responsibility, and the
company
would have better productivity.

Firstly
, wearing a particular cloth can raise workers to have more harmony.
Clearly
, wearing
different
colours
or patterns of clothing can induce
employees
to have
different
opinions about their duties, while those wearing one specific uniform
usually
prefer to follow the group and have less conflict with other colleagues. In this way, as a doctor working in a hospital, I feel more correlation and have better feeling with hospital crews the day I wear my white coat than when I
use
the regular one.

Secondly
, it assists crews to be more responsible.
Obviously
, to reach their goals, they will always try to
think
as a member of a group when they
use
individual clothing, and they undertake their duties
accurately
.
For example
, The United Nation
employees
, who always wear a unique uniform, would not achieve their goals to control the propagation of Ebola virus in Africa. Although their nationality was
different
, their wearing was one of the several reasons that increased their responsibility, and they succeeded.

Finally
, this method can enhance productivity.
Statistically
, reported by an international economy magazine, those
organisations
imposing strict
rules
on their
employees
to
use
uniform have a higher rate of production and sales. When workers wear the same cloth, they motivated to work harder, causing
companies
to have more
highly
quality and quantity of
goods
;
however
, in those businesses
people
using
different
clothing
usually
have less productivity.

In conclusion
, having harmony in crews' clothing, enterprises earn more profits. Their
employees
are
comparably
more cooperative and responsible with each other, and the rate of profitability can
be inclined
far
dramatically
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many employees are now required to wear a uniform as part of their company policy and this has many significant advantages. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Do the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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