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Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from v.1

Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. 1
Skills like debating and presentation have always been playing a vital role in this modern era and leading an active social life. Some people believe that these skills are to be developed at an early youth as compared to building them in higher institutes. I completely agree with the stance and many plausible arguments support in favour of this view. To start with, interpersonal skills are an essential factor for maintaining a healthy lifestyle as these skills boost up the confidence and groom's one’s personality. It is important to learn such skills from an early life. Many scientific studies have proven that children learn faster as compared to an adult. Furthermore, skills developed at an early maturity are tending to have a long-lasting effect in future. For example, in the past few decades, various studies have been carried out on individuals of various age groups to determine the effectiveness of learning. The results have proved that growing age tend to have more grasping power in comparison to mature maturity. In addition to this, when a student starts pursuing his higher studies, he is involved in a lot of curriculums. So, acquiring interpersonal skills on beforehand would help them to concentrate on studies. Furthermore, debates and presentation skills would also create a pathway to achieve global opportunities. For instance, every college conducts debate competition and winner of such contest, then provided a chance to represent the country globally. To conclude, interpersonal skills, play an importance role in academic as well as professional life. Hence, it is advantageous to have a command over them at an early age, which would benefit to the learner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skills
like debating and presentation have always been playing a vital role in this modern era and leading an active social life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are to
be developed
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
youth as compared to building them in higher institutes. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the stance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
plausible arguments support in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are an essential factor for maintaining a healthy lifestyle as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
boost up the confidence and groom's one’s personality. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have proven that children learn faster as compared to an adult.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
developed at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
maturity are tending to have a long-lasting effect
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For example
, in the past few decades, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have
been carried
out on individuals of various age groups to determine the effectiveness of learning. The results have proved that growing age tend to have more grasping power
in comparison
to mature maturity.

In addition
to this, when a student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
pursuing his higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, he
is involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
curriculums.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, acquiring interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
on beforehand would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Furthermore
, debates and presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would
also
create a pathway to achieve global opportunities.
For instance
, every college conducts debate competition and winner of such contest, then provided a chance to represent the country globally.

To conclude
, interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, play an importance role in academic
as well
as professional life.
Hence
, it is advantageous to have a command over them at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age, which would benefit to the learner.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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