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Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain what unity and contrast are, and how they make interior design more effective. v.1

Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain what unity and contrast are, and how they make interior design more effective. v. 1
Admittedly, a person being a social animal, is an old cliche. A certain section of people opine that the advancements incurred in the technology resulted the more social behaviour of an individual. Whilst others oppose this statement. Let us examine both these aspects and give a logical conclusion at the end of this essay. One school of thought presumes that the inventions of social applications on the web have changed the way people socialize, nowadays. Because of these trendy social websites, many persons talk with multicultural individuals regardless of distinguishing language and the religion. A Greek young man, for instance, becomes a friend of a British woman on the Facebook application and get married after a few months. Thus, it is a far more convenient approach of socializing. Another school of thought believes that this notion puts negative consequences on the personal relationships of the people. Evidently, can be seen, that humans engage on their smartphone all the time and avoid the conversation with their families and relatives. To exemplify, senior citizens feel lonely because their children ignore the face to face conversation with them. Consequently, the bond among the people is becoming weaker and breakable. In my opinion, this change has adversely affected the society on the whole. Relationships are dying out and careless nature of human beings towards their loved ones, has made the situation even worse. Henceforth, avoiding excess use of latest technology to communicate with people must be approachable so that the persons can become more social in person. In conclusion, after analysing both these viewpoints, it can be conveyed that the technology has changed the method of interaction with one another. However, the interaction in person is also much more important for a mankind for the betterment of the society.
Admittedly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
animal, is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
'cliche' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cliché"
cliche
. A certain section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the advancements incurred in the technology resulted the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of an individual. Whilst others oppose this statement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us examine both these aspects and give a logical conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this essay.

One school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
presumes that the inventions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
applications on the web have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
socialize, nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
talk with multicultural individuals regardless of distinguishing language and the religion. A Greek young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
,
for instance
, becomes a friend of a British woman on the Facebook application and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married after a few months.
Thus
, it is a far more convenient approach of socializing.

Another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that this notion puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on the personal relationships of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Evidently
, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, that humans engage on their smartphone all the time and avoid the conversation with their families and relatives. To exemplify, senior citizens feel lonely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the face to face conversation with them.
Consequently
, the bond among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
becoming weaker and breakable.

In my opinion, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the society
on the whole
. Relationships are dying out and careless nature of human beings towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, has made the situation even worse. Henceforth, avoiding excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be approachable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
in person.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both these viewpoints, it can
be conveyed
that the technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the method of interaction with one another.
However
, the interaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
also
much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a mankind for the betterment of the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain what unity and contrast are, and how they make interior design more effective. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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