Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Task 2: Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Task 2: Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 1
Some people may have the opinion that the rising cost of fuel is the accurate way to get rid of the problem about decreasing the number of cars and unpredictable pollution. From my point of view, I strongly agree with many sensible reasons, described in the following paragraph. Although, the petrol price is growing up, but people still have to transport to many places such as supermarket, school and their office. If they cannot afford the price of the fuel that growing up every day. They have to choose other ways to drive them to the place that they need to go. Public transportation is one of the choices that they will choose to transport them to their place. For example, go to their school by bus, boat, tube, etc. By using the public transportation will fall the amount of the pollution that normally from many cars on the road. We will get high quality and clean air back again. In addition, if the price of the petrol is expensive, the people will sufficiently use them. They will use the petrol when they have necessary thing to do, not just for their daily life. This makes petrol sustainable. Because we use it with our quality thinking. Therefore the companies that manufacture fuel doesn't have to use a lot of energy to produce the fuel to serve the need of human as ordinary. This will help decrease the amount of pollution that emit from many factories. It is undeniable that the factory is the main thing that make a lot of pollution. To conclude, I have an agreement with this statement. Raising the price of the fuel is the best solution for this problem. I recommend that the government and an organization about the petrol should do something with this problem that must effects our world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have the opinion that the rising cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is the accurate way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the problem about decreasing the number of cars and unpredictable pollution. From my point of view, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sensible reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the following paragraph.

Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is growing up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
transport to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places such as supermarket, school and their office.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they cannot afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
that growing up every day. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose other ways to drive them to the place that they need to go. Public transportation is one of the choices that they will choose to transport them to their place.
For example
, go to their school by bus, boat, tube, etc. By using the public transportation will fall the amount of the pollution that
normally
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars on the road. We will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high quality and clean air back again.

In addition
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is expensive, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
sufficiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
when they have necessary thing to do, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for their daily life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
sustainable.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it with our quality thinking.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that manufacture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
doesn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy to produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
to serve the need of human as ordinary. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
decrease the amount of pollution that emit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories. It is undeniable that the factory is the main thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pollution.

To conclude
, I have an agreement with this statement. Raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is the best solution for this problem. I recommend that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and an organization about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
should do something with this problem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
effects our world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Task 2: Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts