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Using the main point and examples from the lecture, describe how Alpine adapt to survive harsh conditions. v.1

Using the main point and examples from the lecture, describe how Alpine adapt to survive harsh conditions. v. 1
Nowadays, online newspapers have gained in popularity, changing the way people receive information. Although some traditionalists argue that printed newspapers still play an important role, I still believe that there is no need for them and they should be replaced. It is undeniable that conventional newspapers are no longer suitable in this digital age. First, the speed of disseminating information by using traditional newspapers is slower than other types of media. For instance, by broadcasting news on TV, citizens can keep track of the event that is happening in another country, which would take at least a day to transmit this news if using newspapers. Second, the information on conventional newspapers, especially in undeveloped countries, has been deemed biased as most of them come from mainstream media. If people gave up using those newspapers and read more from other sources on the Internet, they could receive more varying opinions, helping them avoid being manipulated by organizations like governments. It is also clear that using traditional newspapers is not efficient. One of the compelling reasons is that in order to produce paper that is used to print the press, materials like wood are imperative. Since plenty of evidence has indicated that deforestation is one of the primary factors contributing to global warming, people should give up using traditional newspapers as the way to protect the environment. In addition, the cost of publishing paper newspapers is higher than other types of journalism. By replacing them with the online edition, for example, the publishers can save a great deal of money. In conclusion, giving up newspapers can benefit not only citizens but also publishers as well. Publishing companies should take steps to replace completely the paper edition with online press.
Nowadays, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have gained in popularity, changing the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
receive information. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditionalists argue that printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
still
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role, I
still
believe that there is no need for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they should
be replaced
.

It is undeniable that conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are no longer suitable in this digital age.
First
, the speed of disseminating information by using traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is slower than other types of media.
For instance
, by broadcasting news on TV, citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that is
happening in another country, which would take at least a day to transmit this news if using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. Second, the information on conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
,
especially
in undeveloped countries, has
been deemed
biased as most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from mainstream media. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gave up using those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and read more from other sources on the Internet, they could receive more varying opinions, helping them avoid
being manipulated
by organizations like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that using traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is not efficient. One of the compelling reasons is that in order to produce paper
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to print the press, materials like wood are imperative.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of evidence has indicated
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
deforestation
is one of the primary factors contributing to global warming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should give up using traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
as the way to protect the environment.
In addition
, the cost of publishing paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is higher than other types of journalism. By replacing them with the online edition,
for example
, the publishers can save a great deal of money.

In conclusion
, giving up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
can benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
publishers
as well
. Publishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should take steps to replace completely the paper edition with online press.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using the main point and examples from the lecture, describe how Alpine adapt to survive harsh conditions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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