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If you could visit any place in the world for just 24 hours, where would you choose to go? Use reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

If you could visit any place in the world for just 24 hours, where would you choose to go? Use reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that educating kids at home is beneficial, while others differ with this opinion. After pondering this phenomenon, I deem to disagree with those who think this is a valid approach. In this essay, I will discuss the positives of both, and share my opinion along with the relevant examples. On the one hand, personal tutoring of the children can be essential in some cases, as it helps to provide personal attention towards an individual, which leads to a more focussed growth. To quote an example, many students have to take personal coaching from specialized teachers as they have doubts which they couldn't clear at school. Moreover, students, who prefer to only study at home, save a lot in expenses of institution fees and transportation. As it is increasingly common for parents to face many financial issues while paying for such expensive schools. On the other hand, school is considered as the temple of knowledge for a reason. Students build an essential foundation for communication and other soft skills which are very crucial for a better future. This is because they interact with other students from different cultures and they learn to adapt to them. Furthermore, there is a plethora of activities available in school, which helps them to evolve physically and mentally. For example, it is quite common to see students in sports are more likely to develop team-building and leadership skills. In conclusion, although, educating at home can prove to be helpful financially and for targeted growth, it is very important to consider the merits of core foundational skills along with the physical and mental evolvement while studying in a school.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that educating kids at home is beneficial, while others differ with this opinion. After pondering this phenomenon, I deem to disagree with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a valid approach. In this essay, I will discuss the positives of both, and share my opinion along with the relevant examples.

On the one hand, personal tutoring of the children can be essential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to provide personal attention towards an individual, which leads to a more focussed growth. To quote an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take personal coaching from specialized teachers as they have doubts which they couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
study at home, save a lot in expenses of institution fees and transportation. As it is
increasingly
common for parents to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial issues while paying for such expensive schools.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is considered
as the temple of knowledge for a reason.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
build an essential foundation for communication and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for a better future. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cultures and
they learn to adapt to them.
Furthermore
, there is a plethora of activities available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to evolve
physically
and mentally.
For example
, it is quite common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in sports are more likely to develop team-building and leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, although, educating at home can prove to be helpful
financially
and for targeted growth, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the merits of core foundational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
along with the physical and mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
evolvement
while studying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you could visit any place in the world for just 24 hours, where would you choose to go? Use reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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