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using the example of the vacuum cleaner, explain when it is legally acceptable to use exaggeration in advertising and when it is not. v.1

using the example of the vacuum cleaner, explain when it is legally acceptable to use exaggeration in advertising and when it is not. v. 1
As a result of the large budget set aside by the government for the renovation of old structures, some people believe that the money should rather be used in constructing new homes and thoroughfares. In my opinion, for the purpose of economic growth, I strongly agree that funding new projects would be more beneficial to the economy. First and foremost, developing new roads would boost the economy of an area. In other words, good roads would encourage investors to set up businesses in these localities, thereby creating employment opportunities. In addition, the existence of new highways which lead to rural area would expose these places to the world, consequently encouraging tourism. For instance, Nigerians who typically do not vacation locally because of bad roads could go on road trips to Obudu Cattle Ranch, Erin Ijesha Waterfall and Badagry. Furthermore, new roadways would make transportation of goods and services easier and faster, thus, perishable goods would not go to waste. Another point to consider is new houses would easily meet the needs and tastes of the growing populace. Over the years, architecture has changed and embraced the ever-changing habits of humans. In the past, families were typically larger with up to ten people cohabiting. As a result, residential buildings had more rooms and courtyards to accommodate everyone. However, this is no longer practised as most families have either three or four members. Therefore, it is more economical to build new houses to reflect this change than spend money renovating old homes that would not suit current demands. To conclude, it is believed by some, that funding from the authorities should be towards the development of modern infrastructure. I am convinced that the government is better off investing in the construction of new roads and buildings because these are long-term investments which would yield profitable returns and replenish the reserve of the nation.
As a result
of the large budget set aside by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for the renovation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
structures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the money should
rather
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes and thoroughfares. In my opinion, for the purpose of economic growth, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
projects would be more beneficial to the economy.

First
and foremost, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would boost the economy of an area.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would encourage investors to set up businesses in these localities, thereby creating employment opportunities.
In addition
, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
highways which lead to rural area would expose these places to the world,
consequently
encouraging tourism.
For instance
, Nigerians who
typically
do not vacation
locally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
could go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
trips to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Obudu
Cattle Ranch, Erin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ijesha
Waterfall and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Badagry
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
roadways would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
transportation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services easier and faster,
thus
, perishable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
would not go to waste.

Another point to consider is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
would
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs and tastes of the growing populace. Over the years, architecture has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and embraced the ever-changing habits of humans. In the past, families were
typically
larger with up to ten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cohabiting.
As a result
, residential buildings had more rooms and courtyards to accommodate everyone.
However
, this is no longer
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
as most families have either three or four members.
Therefore
, it is more economical to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to reflect this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
than spend money renovating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
homes that would not suit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
demands.

To conclude
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, that funding from the authorities should be towards the development of modern infrastructure. I
am convinced
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is better off investing in the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are long-term investments which would yield profitable returns and replenish the reserve of the nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay using the example of the vacuum cleaner, explain when it is legally acceptable to use exaggeration in advertising and when it is not. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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