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Do you agree or disagree computer games is waste of time and children should not be allowed to play v.1

computer games is waste of time and children should not be allowed to play v. 1
These days, the number of visitors going to areas where conditions are extreme has increased substantially. While there are some advantages of visiting such places, there are also some drawbacks to consider. Firstly, the essay will discuss the benefits and secondly, it will analyze the disadvantages. To begin with, one of the main pros of visitors going to areas with extreme climatic conditions is that it is a great place to relax with natural beauty. These locations are still in their pristine state. For example, a recent studies by the Cambridge University found that 89% of tourist would prefer to go to the Sahara desert or the Antarctic for leisure because they believe it contains magnificent landscape. Notwithstanding, if the result from the study had not shown this, then these locations would not be a great site for tourist attractions. However, visiting such places has its drawback because it is dangerous to health if not properly equipped. People are likely to contact diseases if inadequate preparations are made before embarking on the trip. For instance, The Sunday Times recently reported that 52% of visitors to the Antarctical contacted flu while at the place. Nevertheless, if the report had not shown that diseases could be contacted in these sites, then there are no cons for travelling to these places. In conclusion, although there are many benefits of travelling to areas with extreme weather such as for leisure, this must be weighed against the disadvantages such as the probability of contacting ailments.
These days, the number of visitors going to areas where conditions are extreme has increased
substantially
. While there are
some
advantages of visiting such
places
, there are
also
some
drawbacks to consider.
Firstly
, the essay will discuss the benefits and
secondly
, it will analyze the disadvantages.

To
begin
with, one of the main pros of visitors going to areas with extreme climatic conditions is that it is a great
place
to relax with natural beauty. These locations are
still
in their pristine state.
For example
, a recent studies by the Cambridge University found that 89% of tourist would prefer to go to the Sahara desert or the Antarctic for leisure
because
they believe it contains magnificent landscape. Notwithstanding, if the result from the study had not shown this, then these locations would not be a great site for tourist attractions.

However
, visiting such
places
has its drawback
because
it is
dangerous
to health if not
properly
equipped.
People
are likely to contact diseases if inadequate preparations
are made
before
embarking on the trip.
For instance
, The Sunday Times recently reported that 52% of visitors to the
Antarctical
contacted flu while at the
place
.
Nevertheless
, if the report had not shown that diseases could
be contacted
in these sites, then there are no cons for travelling to these places.

In conclusion
, although there are
many
benefits of travelling to areas with extreme weather such as for leisure, this
must
be weighed
against the disadvantages such as the probability of contacting ailments.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay computer games is waste of time and children should not be allowed to play v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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