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These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are advantages and disadvantages of this? v.6

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 6
Online shopping which is known as E-commerce is recently growing at a high speed. There has been a recent argument that the growth will some day lead to most shops in the town closing down. Online shopping has its own disadvantages but still won't override the advantages. In my own opinion, I totally disagree that the springing up of online retail stores will one day lead to all stores in the town closing down. In this essay, I will be giving some of the reasons why I oppose the argument. Firstly, just in recent time that the activities of eCommerce emerged, many people as accepted it as a way of purchasing items in order to save time as the goods requested for will be delivered at the door step. There are many items that it is preferable to visit the store than making an order online. In my community, many of my friends have stopped making orders online because they complain that the items requested for differs from what was initially seen online. The stoppage has lead to the increase of store that deal with selling the same goods around the environs. Another major reason why there will still be a huge market for the retail stores more than the online is because the majority still prefer to have a feeling of what they intend to buy as there will also be an avenue to negotiate the price. The fear of falling for the internet fraudsters is another major reason why offline shops can never be closed. An example of my experience during an online purchase was when I make an order and completed the request payment but nothing was brought down to my address. In addition, the growth of online stores can not shut down some business that has gained recognition over the years. The only thing that can be done in this situation is for the business owners to also leverage on it while maintaining their physical stores. Let us take for example the selling of some food stuffs or perishable items through social media, although there are many people who sell items online, but the majority still prefer to visit the stores where the items can be gotten freshly. In conclusion, I totally disagree that online stores will lead to the closure of most retail stores.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
shopping which
is known
as E-commerce is recently growing at a high speed. There has been a recent argument that the growth will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to most shops in the town closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
shopping has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
won't override the advantages.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I
totally
disagree that the springing up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will one day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in the town closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
. In this essay, I will be giving
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why I oppose the argument.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in recent time that the activities of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eCommerce
emerged,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
it as a way of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to save time as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
requested for will
be delivered
at the door step. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that it is preferable to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
than making an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my friends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they complain that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
requested for differs from what was
initially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The stoppage has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
that deal with selling the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
around the environs.

Another major reason why there will
still
be a huge market for the retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority
still
prefer to have a feeling of what they intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
as there will
also
be an avenue to negotiate the price. The fear of falling for the internet fraudsters is another major reason why offline shops can never
be closed
. An example of my experience during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
was when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
and completed the request payment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing
was brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to my address.

In addition
, the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can not shut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business that has gained recognition over the years. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that can
be done
in this situation is for the business owners to
also
leverage on it while maintaining their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take
for example
the selling of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food stuffs or perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
through social media, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the majority
still
prefer to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
can
be gotten
freshly
.

In conclusion
, I
totally
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to the closure of most retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
389 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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