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University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 6
Latest technology is bringing everyone on a single platform i. e. Connect each other as a single entity. There are several reasons behind this singularity that is being observed with the current machinery. I agree that current automation has unified the different world cultures. Firstly, the current advancement in the machinery has become part and parcel of everyone’s life. All people can connect to each other with the help of current advancement of technology. With the current advancement all people no matter from where and which culture they belong to can talk to each other and share their culture. They discuss with each other what their culture stands for? And How it similar to the other cultures in the world. For example, nowadays with the help of social apps such as Facebook and Instagram, people of different culture talk to each other and share their experience. Secondly, these technologies have no rules that each other to connect, as they are neutral in nature. They don’t have any logic and depend on code which does not judge when two people of different culture are talking to each other. It does not create any boundary or judge such as a human being, who judge each one for what they are and what they meant? Latest innovation has become an excellent medium to unify the world’s culture as one and start spreading the message of each culture to another culture. For example, I celebrate and follow my own religion, but with the help of Skype, I was able to make friends in different countries who follow different countries. This helps me to understand them and celebrate and share their and my culture which brought together. In the end, I would like to conclude that the current advance technology is unifying the world’s culture.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is bringing everyone on a single platform
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Connect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as a single entity. There are several reasons behind this singularity
that is
being observed
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
machinery. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
automation has unified the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cultures.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
advancement in the machinery has become part and parcel of everyone’s life. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
advancement all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no matter from where and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they belong to can talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. They discuss with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
stands for? And How
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, nowadays with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of social apps such as Facebook and Instagram,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and share their experience.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to connect, as they are neutral in nature. They don’t have any logic and depend on code which does not judge when two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are talking to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. It does not create any boundary or judge such as a human being, who judge each one for what they are and what they meant?
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
innovation has become an excellent medium to unify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
spreading the message of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, I celebrate and follow my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
religion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of Skype, I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries who follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
me to understand them and celebrate and share their and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which brought together.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would like
to conclude
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is unifying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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