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Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it ishow you learned to use ithow long you have had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v.1

Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it ishow you learned to use ithow long you have had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v. 1
Some critics have doubted that a wealthy nation is unable to keep the environment clean and healthy while a number of people oppose against this. There are valid arguments on both sides and my reasons are as follows. On the one hand, every developed country has to suffer from various pollutions to the environment. To begin with, the main cause can be claimed for the heavy industries which produce a great amount of exhausted fumes into the air. Take Beijing, China as an example, the dense smog from factories has led its citizens to wear a mask whenever they are outside to protect them from lung cancer. What is more, the outstanding economy attracts the foreign investors and employees to come and work for. This means the over-populated countries are placed in the higher risk of environmental damage such as littering. There are, however, some advocates who are optimistic with the vision of a wealthy country, healthy lives. The privileged nation like Singapore has implemented the policy to pour money into recycling garbage and turning it into power which provides the electricity to households. Besides, the government officials put their efforts on education system to raise the residents’ awareness of environmental protection since they are at school. As the result, these individuals realize the importance of their healthy habitat, therefore, giving a hand to keep the country out of danger. To sum up, it is not exaggerated to believe that a country can be both prosperous and environmentally friendly. In my opinion, as long as the authorities prioritize some funding on protecting the current state of environment, we deserve to enjoy a better and healthier living condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics have doubted that a wealthy nation is unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment clean and healthy while a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
oppose against this. There are valid arguments on both sides and my reasons are as follows.

On the one hand, every developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
suffer from various pollutions to the environment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main cause can
be claimed
for the heavy industries which produce a great amount of exhausted fumes into the air. Take Beijing, China as an example, the dense smog from factories has led its citizens to wear a mask whenever they are outside to protect them from lung cancer.
What is more
, the outstanding economy attracts the foreign investors and employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and work for. This means the over-populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are placed
in the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of environmental damage such as littering.

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocates who are optimistic with the vision of a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The privileged nation like Singapore has implemented the policy to pour money into recycling garbage and turning it into power which provides the electricity to households.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials put their efforts on education system to raise the residents’ awareness of environmental protection since they are at school. As the result, these individuals realize the importance of their healthy habitat,
therefore
, giving a hand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

To sum up, it is not exaggerated to believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be both prosperous and
environmentally
friendly. In my opinion, as long as the authorities prioritize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funding on protecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
state of environment, we deserve to enjoy a better and healthier living condition.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it ishow you learned to use ithow long you have had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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