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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v.3

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v. 3
Our industry and producing have affected the environment to a great degree. Governments in different countries need to help the environment. However, some people think it is our own responsibility to look after the environment. I am positively to this idea. Above all, the earth belongs to all species in the world. It is not some single person or organization’s responsibility to take care of it. Every one of us needs to start protecting the environment because we are obliged to do that. Whereas, the government is weaker compared with us. It can never cover everything if the public does not move. Second, it is easier for us than the authority to protect the local environment. Under the instruction of the government, we can easily help the local environment. According to some researches, people who do not drive cars will reduce the omit by a large amount. Some people in America also proposed lots of very good ideas to reduce the pollution and help the climate. For example, using clean fuels such as hygiene, electricity, rather than coals, bio-fuels, and so on. Besides, someone thinks it is eco-friendly to go to work by bicycle. I think all of the solutions are practical only if every one of us start it. There is no such an authority in the world that can give a direct order that people have to protect the world, but the public need to realize the significance and help it. In conclusion, people should take care of their local environment by themselves and the government should teach and instruct them to do.
Our industry and producing have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to a great degree.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I am
positively
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Above all
, the earth belongs to all species in the world. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
single person or organization’s responsibility to take care of it. Every one of us needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
are obliged
to do that.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is weaker compared with us. It can never cover everything if the public does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

Second, it is easier for us than the authority to protect the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Under the instruction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, we can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not drive cars will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'omit' is correct. If 'omit' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the omit
by a large amount.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in America
also
proposed lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the climate.
For example
, using clean fuels such as hygiene, electricity,
rather
than coals, bio-fuels, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Besides
, someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it is eco-friendly to go to work by bicycle. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider using "all the".
all of the
solutions are practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if every one of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
it. There is no such an authority in the world that can give a direct order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the public need to realize the significance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
it.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take care of their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by themselves and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should teach and instruct them to do.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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