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University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 1
It is true that nowadays, tertiary students are prone to concentrate on their one specialist subject. However, some people support that universities should enlarge their curriculum to encourage students study various subjects. I totally agree that students need more knowledge besides their professional one. On the one hand, increasing subjects leads students reduce their restrain which results from main subjects. In many university, students are always under pressure because of their intensive examinations, combining many disciplines in academic subjects, which make students be nerve- wracking. Therefore, some extra subjects such as art, music, sports help them have more time to loosen up a bit and enjoy their own company. Moreover, extra subjects contribute to improve their both brain hemispheres. According to BBC news, all academic subjects need activities of left brain hemisphere while composing art or music depends on right one. For that reason, combining both main and auxiliary subjects for students to develop comprehensively as well as avoiding abnormal development. For example, arts subjects help students improve their creativity, which complements for thinking ( ) in main subjects. On the other hand, studying more subjects in university increases job opportunities for students. The first reason for this belief is that some pupils are not really keen on their majors as they just choose it because of their parents’ advice. By studying various subjects, they can have chance to find their interest, thus, follow the right passions. The second reason is extra courses will help students avoid unemployment, which results from many students chose some popular majors such as finance or business-related one. Therefore, in these majors, there are scarce recruitments because of redundant employees. However, if students have knowledge beyond a major, they can have wider range of job choices. In conclusion, it is extremely essential that university should include more subjects so that students can receive advantages from this.
It is true that nowadays, tertiary
students
are prone to concentrate on their one specialist
subject
.
However
,
some
people
support that
universities
should enlarge their curriculum to encourage
students
study various
subjects
. I
totally
agree
that
students
need more knowledge
besides
their professional one.

On the one hand, increasing
subjects
leads
students
reduce
their
restrain
which results from main
subjects
. In
many
university
,
students
are always under pressure
because
of their intensive examinations, combining
many
disciplines in academic
subjects
, which
make
students
be nerve- wracking.
Therefore
,
some
extra
subjects
such as art, music, sports
help
them have more time to loosen up a bit and enjoy their
own
company
.
Moreover
, extra
subjects
contribute to
improve
their both brain hemispheres. According to BBC news, all academic
subjects
need activities of
left
brain hemisphere while composing art or music depends on right one. For that reason, combining both main and auxiliary
subjects
for
students
to develop
comprehensively
as well
as avoiding abnormal development.
For example
, arts
subjects
help
students
improve
their creativity, which complements for thinking
(
) in main subjects.

On the other hand
, studying more
subjects
in
university
increases job opportunities for
students
. The
first
reason for this belief is that
some
pupils are not
really
keen on their
majors
as they
just
choose it
because
of their parents’ advice. By studying various
subjects
, they can have chance to find their interest,
thus
, follow the right passions. The second reason is extra courses will
help
students
avoid unemployment, which results from
many
students
chose
some
popular
majors
such as finance or business-related one.
Therefore
, in these
majors
, there are scarce recruitments
because
of redundant employees.
However
, if
students
have knowledge beyond a
major
, they can have wider range of job choices.

In conclusion
, it is
extremely
essential that
university
should include more
subjects
so
that
students
can receive advantages from this.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 1

Essay
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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