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University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 3
Some people point out that when you are studying at a university you should focus on a subject which is different from your special department. Even though some people disagree in relation to this title, but I agree with this because of some benefits such as advantages for a job application and to help other people. In this essay, we shall mention the benefits of learning diverse subjects while you are a student. On the one hand, mastering upon the different subject means that you have more than one qualification in your hand. Because of the fact that you have various qualifications, the process of looking for an occupation when you have graduated from college more likely to be much easier. More and more companies or employers want to qualified people. Hence, you will be an indispensable person by means of your lots of knowledge. To illustrate, my friends had specialized in a different topic because of this he has found a job relatively other friends of mine despite they were the same grade. On the other hand, another beneficial aspect of masterşn upon diverse issues is that you can help another person who has a health problem with your experience. I would say that if a student learned how can help a person who is a casualty and then the student can rescue his or her life. In addition, the student can use all of this informations every stage of own life. As an illustration, once whilst I and my family were going on a vacation we came across a harsh accident on our way. In spite of the fact that my father does not a medical doctor, he has intervened the case due to saving a life and it worked. To sum up, in the light of this information above, it can be clearly said that universities should encourage the students due to learning various topics. This tendency makes students more enhanced from the point of lots of respect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
point out that when you are studying at a university you should focus on a subject which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from your special department.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree in relation to this title,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits such as advantages for a job application and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay, we shall mention the benefits of learning diverse subjects while you are a student.

On the one hand, mastering upon the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subject means that you have more than one qualification in your hand.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
Because of the fact that
you have various qualifications, the process of looking for an occupation when you have graduated from college more likely to be much easier. More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or employers want to qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, you will be an indispensable person by means of your lots of knowledge. To illustrate, my friends had specialized in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topic
because of this
he has found a job
relatively
other friends of mine despite they were the same grade.

On the other hand
, another beneficial aspect of
Possible spelling mistake found.
masterşn
upon diverse issues is that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
another person who has a health problem with your experience. I would say that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learned how can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person who is a casualty and then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can rescue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all of
Did you mean "these"?
this
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
every stage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. As an illustration, once whilst I and my family were going on a vacation we came across a harsh accident on our way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that my father does not a medical doctor, he has intervened the case due to saving a life and it worked.

To sum up, in the light of this information above, it can be
clearly
said that universities should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
due to learning various topics. This tendency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more enhanced from the point of lots of respect.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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