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At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In recent years, it has been observed that the populace of the nations are consisting of more of the youngsters than the elderly people. In my opinion, the presence of the young citizens help the country in working smoothly due to their knowledge on advanced technologies and physical strength they have, which clearly overweight with the being of elders in our society, who posses real life-experiences. Talking about the positives first, the younglings have the physical strength and the latest technology information, which is a necessity in today's day-to-day life. In other words, they are full of energy and have physical, mental and psychological well-being, which can help them to handle rigorous daily activities, smoothly. In the UK, for instance, it has been monitored that the number of middle-aged individuals is more when compared to the old-aged ones, as a consequence, it has shown a tremendous pace in handling of daily chores effectively and efficiently. Hence, the young people are seen to have a more efficient life, which can be helpful for a nation, besides to the individual themselves. Coming to the other side, the old-age people hold experiences, with the help of which any situation can be handled easily by them. Their life-skills and experiences could be useful in understanding a situation, and resolving it wisely with the help of information they hold. Moreover, they can understand the incident and can manage to overcome any unexpected occurrences calmly, unlike the young group, who might end up creating a mess with the complicated situations. In a country like India, where the population dwelling contains an almost equal number of young and older people, could be the best example for this scenario. Here, most of the political leaders are older people, they are observed to be competent enough to manage any happening in the country in a wise manner, in turn, boosts the country's overall economy. Overall, the presence of elderly people is helpful in handling the country's health and economy. In a nutshell, albeit the life-experience that older people posses could be useful in dealing with multiple unfortunate occurrences happening in the country, but the strength of young-generation people and knowledge towards the technology advancement could be more helpful for a country to elevate the growth curve of their nation, which crytsal clears that advantages of middle-age people outweigh the disadvantages.
In recent years, it has
been observed
that the populace of the nations
are consisting
of more of the youngsters than the elderly
people
. In my opinion, the presence of the
young
citizens
help
the
country
in working
smoothly
due to their knowledge on advanced technologies and physical strength they have, which
clearly
overweight with the being of elders in our society, who posses real life-experiences.

Talking about the positives
first
, the
younglings
have the physical strength and the latest technology information, which is a necessity in
today
's day-to-day life.
In other words
, they are full of energy and have physical, mental and psychological well-being, which can
help
them to handle rigorous daily activities,
smoothly
. In the UK,
for instance
, it has
been monitored
that the number of middle-aged individuals is more when compared to the
old
-aged ones, as a consequence, it has shown a tremendous pace in handling of daily chores
effectively
and
efficiently
.
Hence
, the
young
people
are
seen
to have a more efficient life, which can be helpful for a nation,
besides
to the individual themselves.

Coming to the other side, the
old
-age
people
hold experiences, with the
help
of which any situation can
be handled
easily
by them. Their life-
skills
and experiences could be useful in understanding a situation, and resolving it
wisely
with the
help
of information they hold.
Moreover
, they can understand the incident and can manage to overcome any unexpected occurrences
calmly
, unlike the
young
group, who might
end
up creating a mess with the complicated situations. In a
country
like India, where the population dwelling contains an almost equal number of
young
and older
people
, could be the best example for this scenario. Here, most of the political leaders are older
people
, they
are observed
to be competent
enough
to manage any happening in the
country
in a wise manner
, in turn, boosts the country's
overall
economy.
Overall
, the presence of elderly
people
is helpful in handling the country's health and economy.

In a nutshell, albeit the life-experience that older
people
posses could be useful in dealing with multiple unfortunate occurrences happening in the
country
,
but
the strength of young-generation
people
and knowledge towards the technology advancement could be more helpful for a
country
to elevate the growth curve of their nation, which
crytsal
clears that advantages of middle-age
people
outweigh the disadvantages.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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