Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for two reasons. For one v.1

University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for two reasons. For one v. 1
In their lifetime everyone has thought of being famous. Everything comes with pros and cons and being a renowned star is no different. The advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity along with my opinion are discussed in forthcoming paragraphs. On one hand, there are various exciting things about being a celebrity. Primarily, a famous movie star or sports personnel is recognised, loved and respected by everyone and sometimes people are even seen to go to an extent of worshipping them. For instance, various astonishing temples created by fans of many notable persons can be seen in southern part of India. Secondly, celebrities earn a handsome amount of money for their respective professions which is one of the major advantages of being famous. Besides this, these popular persons get unlimited access to things and they are given preferences over general public in public places such as they do not have to stand in queues to purchase something from common shops. On the other hand, being famous also comes with downsides. The foremost being is these renowned persons do not have a social life and are seen constantly being chased by followers and media whenever they appear in public. Moreover, sometimes the same diehard fans who praise them, occasionally criticize these celebs to such an extent that they do not even spare their families. To illustrate, there are several news items that can be seen in daily newspaper in which these admirers go to an extent of abusing cricket stars in the event of losing a single match. Further, it has been seen that these eminent personalities end up broke in the later parts of their life because of poor money management, thus, though they earn a lot during their lifetime but most of them often die penniless. To conclude, in my opinion, albeit being a celebrity has many benefits but the major drawbacks such as lack of privacy cannot be ignored. Therefore, the disadvantages of being famous outweigh advantages.
In their lifetime everyone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
. Everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with pros and cons and being a renowned star is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. The advantages and disadvantages of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
along with my opinion
are discussed
in forthcoming paragraphs.

On one hand, there are various exciting things about being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
Primarily
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
movie star or sports personnel is
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and respected by everyone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
to go to an extent of
Possible spelling mistake. 'worshipping' is British English.
worshipping
them.
For instance
, various astonishing temples created by fans of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
notable persons can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in southern part of India.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
earn a handsome amount of money for their respective professions which is one of the major advantages of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
.
Besides
this, these popular persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unlimited access to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preferences over
Consider using "public".
general public
in public places such as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stand in queues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
something from common shops.

On the other hand
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with downsides. The foremost being is these renowned persons do not have a social life and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
constantly
being chased
by followers and media whenever they appear in public.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the same diehard fans who praise them,
occasionally
criticize these celebs to such an extent that they do not even spare their families. To illustrate, there are several news items that can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in daily newspaper in which these admirers go to an extent of abusing cricket stars in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of losing a single match.
Further
, it has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
that these eminent personalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up broke in the later parts of their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor money management,
thus
, though they earn a lot during their lifetime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
penniless.

To conclude
, in my opinion, albeit being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the major drawbacks such as lack of privacy cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Therefore
, the disadvantages of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
outweigh advantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for two reasons. For one v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts