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The two column charts below show the percentage of food and other items bought by three European countries in 1998 and 2008. v.1

The two column charts below show the percentage of food and other items bought by three European countries in 1998 and 2008. v. 1
Every family has their own history. I would agree that looking back and reflecting on the past history is has its uses, whilst others believe that the what is happening now and what is to come should have greater priority. Others would argue that instead of reflecting on what happened in the past, it is necessary that we look at what is happening now and what is too come. If there is no focus on the current lineage, then issues could arise which could disrupt the family. For example, if parents are fully focused on their family tree, then they could start to neglect their children and their education. As a result, the child will struggle to cope and have problems in the future, which in turn would affect the future of the family. I believe that research into past relatives holds great significance. This is because there are various genetic disorders which can be inherited. For example, certain types of cancer are hereditary. Hence, through research into these past records, doctors are able to detect and provide instructions on how to prevent any occurrences of said diseases. Only through extensive research into the past medical records, will people be able to understand the risks for the future. Therefore, allowing the future generations to thrive in health. In conclusion, although many believe that the present and future generation should have greater priority, I believe that through investigations of past records will the present and future only be able to thrive.
Every family has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that looking back and reflecting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
history is has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, whilst others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the what is happening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and what is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
should have greater priority.

Others would argue that
instead
of reflecting on what happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, it is necessary that we look at what is happening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and what is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. If there is no focus on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lineage, then issues could arise which could disrupt the family.
For example
, if parents are
fully
focused on their family tree, then they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to neglect their children and their education.
As a result
, the child will struggle to cope and have problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, which in turn would affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of the family.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that research into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
relatives holds great significance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are various genetic disorders which can
be inherited
.
For example
, certain types of cancer are hereditary.
Hence
, through research into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
records, doctors are able to detect and provide instructions on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any occurrences of said diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
through extensive research into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
medical records, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
be able to understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Therefore
, allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations to thrive in health.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation should have greater priority, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that through investigations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
records will the present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be able to thrive.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The two column charts below show the percentage of food and other items bought by three European countries in 1998 and 2008. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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