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TPO 14 - Question 3University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for t v.1

TPO 14 - Question 3University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for t v. 1
In today’s world, a lot of people, especially parents, potential parents, and most teachers are concerned more about children's education. Lots of research has been made which revealed the undeniable truth that punishment could be harmful to children not only physically but also mentally. Therefore, I disagree with the idea that children must be punished to help them learn the distinction between right and wrong. First of all, a punishment that involves physical contact could affect the physical condition of the children while educating them. This type of punishment is called “physical punishment”. Results of a physical punishment could be disastrous. Children might fall behind on their sports classes at school due to possible injuries which eventually led to a decrease in their fitness level in the long term. Besides, children who are exposed to physical punishment for a long time may display aggressive behaviour. As a result, children might have problems in their social relationships. Secondly, there is another type of punishment which is called “soft punishment”. This kind of punishment consists mostly of verbal abuse, taking away an object what children valued most (it is generally his or her toys). As well as physical punishments, soft punishments could harm children’s social relationships. According to researches that have been made recently, there is a direct link between a child’s level of self-confidence and exposing them to verbal abuse. Parents or teachers who abuse children verbally could be responsible for a lack of self-confidence in them. On the other hand, taking away what children valued most could feel the fear of losing their precious. Since this method of punishment makes children feel uncomfortable and under pressured, it is not suggested by many psychologists. In conclusion, any kind of punishment that applied to children could result in irreversible consequences. Parents and teachers should tolerate children’s innocent mistakes and patiently show them the right way. Therefore, I contradict any idea that suggests children must be punished no matter what.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and most teachers
are concerned
more about children's education. Lots of research has
been made
which revealed the undeniable truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally.
Therefore
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn the distinction between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
contact could affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while educating them. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment”
. Results of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could be disastrous.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
might fall behind on their sports classes at school due to possible injuries which
eventually
led to a decrease in their fitness level in the long term.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a long time may display aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might have problems in their social relationships.

Secondly
, there is another type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
which
is called
“soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment”
. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
consists
mostly
of verbal abuse, taking away an object what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
valued most (it is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
toys).
As well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
could harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
social relationships. According to researches that have
been made
recently, there is a direct link between a child’s level of self-confidence and exposing them to verbal abuse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
or teachers who abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
verbally
could be responsible for a lack of self-confidence in them.
On the other hand
, taking away what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
valued most could feel the fear of losing their precious. Since this method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel uncomfortable and under pressured, it is not suggested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
psychologists.

In conclusion
, any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that applied to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could result in irreversible consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and teachers should tolerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
innocent mistakes and
patiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the right way.
Therefore
, I contradict any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
no matter what.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO 14 - Question 3University Should Allow Eating in ClassCurrently, there is a university-wide policy that prohibits eating in the classroom. I disagree with this policy. I think students should be allowed to eat in class. This change would be good for t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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