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University should allocate money to increase professors salaries so as to improve the quality of education v.1

University should allocate money to increase professors salaries so as to improve the quality of education v. 1
An upsurge figure of crime has dramatically changed our legal system over the period of time. In fact, stricter rules are applied, especially, to the task force who are patrolling on the roads and public areas. In my opinion, this is one of the ways to cope up criminal activities within the surroundings. However, there are several other options for educating and guiding right pathways to divert criminals into productive direction. On the one hand, when people see more police officers in public areas, some think much safer than those who feel something is not right, which is why they get confused and questions why so many guards around. Certainly, this sense of awareness will triggers a bell for the smaller criminals who are involved in robbery, snatching, pick-pocketing and other misbehaviours. Hence, increasing number of constables and officers on the street is an effective way of diminishing small to medium scale crimes in the locality. Having said that policemen are efficient in controlling mis-happenings to some extent, but situations related to human trafficking, cybercrime and some sexual assaults are still remains unanswerable. In the given condition, even if the government improvises ground force on the field, probability of crime doesn't affect at all. Because all these activities won't have any major influence on criminals in performing those misdeeds. Consequently, developing other strategies which support overall growth of educated population in the nation for instance, establishing rehab centres, psychological education courses for offenders and applying stringent laws of heavy fines and imprisonment are few of them. In view of the discussions outlined above, it can be recapitulated that no matter how many officers are on duty in the street if we have the disciplined citizens in the country, the crime rate will downsize automatically. So, it is better to have people who are self-aware and proactive instead of more are border force to control them.
An upsurge figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our legal system over the period of time. In fact, stricter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are applied
,
especially
, to the task force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are patrolling on the roads and public areas. In my opinion, this is one of the ways to cope up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities within the surroundings.
However
, there are several other options for educating and guiding right pathways to divert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
into productive direction.

On the one hand, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more police officers in public areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
much safer than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel something is not right, which is why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused and questions why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
guards around.
Certainly
, this sense of awareness will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "trigger"
triggers
a bell for the smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are involved
in robbery, snatching, pick-pocketing and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
misbehaviours
.
Hence
, increasing number of constables and officers on the street is an effective way of diminishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to medium scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the locality.

Having said that policemen are efficient in controlling
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-happenings
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
situations related to human trafficking, cybercrime and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sexual assaults are
still
remains unanswerable. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
condition, even if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
improvises ground force on the field, probability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
doesn't
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
at all.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
all these activities won't have any major influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in performing those misdeeds.
Consequently
, developing other strategies which support
overall
growth of educated population in the nation
for instance
, establishing rehab
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, psychological education courses for offenders and applying stringent laws of heavy fines and imprisonment are few of them.

In view of the discussions outlined above, it can
be recapitulated
that no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
officers are on duty in the street if we have the disciplined citizens in the country, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate will downsize
automatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are self-aware and proactive
instead
of more are border force to control them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay University should allocate money to increase professors salaries so as to improve the quality of education v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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