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In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v.1

In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v. 1
It is believed that the natural environment is destroyed by the growth of product consumption. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the increasing demand for people consumption lead to escalate industrial waste amounts emit into the atmosphere. This problem results from the substantial number of causes to which several solutions will be proposed in this essay. On the one hand, the world’s population is increasing day by day, which is one of reason for pollution. As the growth of population, we are not using natural resources. It is believed that nothing can save when a human change their mind about safe their life environment. The industrial activities are the way to cause the air pollution and water pollution, which would damage the marine and terrestrial animals. The fact that deforestation to get the wood to make the furniture would lead to the soil erosion. There is some the solution of goods consuming, the politicians impose punishment on companies that harm to the environment during the production process. On the other hand, oil exploitation is a way to depletion of natural resources. For instance, some famous brands of drinks started an activity that the drink will be discounted if the costumers bring their own cup. There are very good idea for reducing the goods in plastic and raise awareness for the residents, which encourage them using eco-friendlier product. It creates a good habit for people to save the community environment. To conclude, the government and people need to join a hand in manufacturing process more environmentally friendly. Having awareness of the environment will bring a healthier, cleaner and convenient accommodation for residents.
It
is believed
that the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the growth of product consumption. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the increasing demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consumption lead to escalate industrial waste amounts emit into the atmosphere. This problem results from the substantial number of causes to which several solutions will
be proposed
in this essay.

On the one hand, the world’s population is increasing day by day, which is one of reason for pollution. As the growth of population, we are not using natural resources. It
is believed
that nothing can save when a human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind about safe their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The industrial activities are the way to cause the air pollution and water pollution, which would damage the marine and terrestrial animals. The fact that deforestation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the wood to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the furniture would lead to the soil erosion. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the solution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
consuming, the politicians impose punishment on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that harm to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
during the production process.

On the other hand
, oil exploitation is a way to depletion of natural resources.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands of drinks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
an activity that the drink will
be discounted
if the costumers bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cup. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in plastic and raise awareness for the residents, which encourage them using
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-friendlier
product. It creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to save the community environment.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a hand in manufacturing process more
environmentally
friendly. Having awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will bring a healthier, cleaner and convenient accommodation for residents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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