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University noticed that students come to first classes poorly skilled. So, it thinking of making a required course about good study habits to all first-year students. Do you agree or should it be left optional. v.1

University noticed that students come to first classes poorly skilled. So, it thinking of making a required course about good study habits to all first-year students. Do you agree or should it be left optional. v. 1
It is undoubtedly true that the majority of individuals are going to other countries for a huge amount of time in order to find a job or to course which is one of today's issues. It has been pointed out, many obvious benefits in place of doing this. However, it is suggested that in oversees they confront with some challenges. this essay will suggest that becoming independent is the biggest advantage of this and followed by an analysis of how the primary demerits, namely feeling homesick and facing some challenges. There are certainly a number of accepted reasons for the advantage to study and living abroad. Firstly, people who have gone to study abroad study are more likely to be independent people in their personal lives that is to say that they become more responsible for cooking, cleaning and paying bills. Secondly, overseas students are exposed to different cultures and customs. Also, qualifications gained abroad can open the door to better job opportunities. For instance, the Sunday Times recently reported that 75% of overseas students are more likely to be better in their future careers and maintain work and life balance. Despite these advantages, many students often face some challenges and difficulties. First and foremost, living alone in an unfamiliar culture can cause homesickness which initially leads them to be frustrated and become more stressed. Furthermore, the language barrier can be a huge problem even though they know that language. Last but not least, students have to find accommodation themselves and pay bills. In conclusion, going abroad to whether to study or work might be good for their future career, but they should be careful that it does not lead to the disillusionment with education or work when they face some difficulties.
It is
undoubtedly
true that the majority of individuals are going to other countries for a huge amount of time in order to find a job or to course which is one of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's issues. It has
been pointed
out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obvious benefits in place of doing this.
However
, it
is suggested
that in oversees they confront with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will suggest that becoming independent is the biggest advantage of this and followed by an analysis of how the primary demerits,
namely
feeling homesick and facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges.

There are
certainly
a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
reasons for the advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have gone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are more likely to be independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that is
to say that they become more responsible for cooking, cleaning and paying bills.
Secondly
, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and customs.
Also
, qualifications gained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can open the door to better job opportunities.
For instance
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
the Sunday Times
recently reported that 75% of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more likely to be better in their future careers and maintain work and life balance.

Despite these advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges and difficulties.

First
and foremost, living alone in an unfamiliar culture can cause homesickness which
initially
leads them to
be frustrated
and become more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Furthermore
, the language barrier can be a huge problem
even though
they know that language. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find accommodation themselves and pay bills.

In conclusion
, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or work might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their future career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should be careful that it does not lead to the disillusionment with education or work when they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay University noticed that students come to first classes poorly skilled. So, it thinking of making a required course about good study habits to all first-year students. Do you agree or should it be left optional. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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