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taking more time to take an important decision is viewed as a bad quality by most while some think it is a good quality" what do u think? Give reasons for your opinion v.1

taking more time to take an important decision is viewed as a bad quality by most while some think it is a good quality" what do u think? Give reasons for your opinion v. 1
The improvements in education in today’s world are considered to be a hot issue in order to pave the best way for a student’s future. There is a school of thought that subjects involving theoretical knowledge, such as Maths and Philosophy should not be mandatory since its difficulties. From my perspective, this is rather speculative due to some main reasons below. To commence with, some children endowed with musical intelligence or having the ability to understand abstract ideas in Literature may find it time-consuming to absorb science-based lessons. To be more precise, they will have to spend more time solving mathematical and philosophical problems, which definitely eliminate self-studying for the subjects they indulge in. If Maths and Philosophy are selective, those children will have more chance to flourish their talents to the fullest by only focusing on the skills they need to improve. On the flip side, the foundational knowledge in terms of arithmetic and geometry, as well as the ethical issues will be strongly beneficial to children. To put it simply, Math provides problem-solving skill, by doing some calculation and equation, for example. Besides, Philosophy teaches students to behave morally and think differently about the global cultures. Therefore, the necessity of Math and Philosophy is unavoidable and teachers should have a tailored approach to help the weaker students comprehend what they need to learn. In conclusion, based on the benefits that Mathematics, Philosophy and other scientific subjects have so far brought, I align myself with the idea that they need to be compulsory to assist the students to understand what is the basic, and gain some life skills. One should be not only the best at a specific skill, but also can handle the others well.
The improvements in education in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
are considered
to be a hot issue in order to pave the best way for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
future. There is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that subjects involving theoretical knowledge, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Philosophy
should not be mandatory since its difficulties. From my perspective, this is
rather
speculative due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main reasons below.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children endowed with musical intelligence or having the ability to understand abstract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in Literature may find it time-consuming to absorb science-based lessons. To be more precise, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more time solving mathematical and philosophical problems, which definitely eliminate self-studying for the subjects they indulge in. If
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Philosophy
are selective, those children will have more chance to flourish their talents to the fullest by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

On the flip side, the foundational knowledge in terms of arithmetic and geometry,
as well
as the ethical issues will be
strongly
beneficial to children. To put it
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
provides problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
calculation and equation,
for example
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Philosophy
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to behave
morally
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
about the global cultures.
Therefore
, the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Philosophy
is unavoidable and teachers should have a tailored approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
comprehend what they need to learn.

In conclusion
, based on the benefits that Mathematics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Philosophy
and other scientific subjects have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far brought, I align myself with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they need to be compulsory to assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand what is the basic, and gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. One should be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best at a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can handle the others well.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay taking more time to take an important decision is viewed as a bad quality by most while some think it is a good quality" what do u think? Give reasons for your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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