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University May Build New Student Apartments Off CampusThe Department of Student Housing is considering whether to build new studenthousing off campus in a residential area of town. Two of the major factors influencingthe decision will be parking and space v.1

University May Build New Student Apartments Off CampusThe Department of Student Housing is considering whether to build new studenthousing off campus in a residential area of town. Two of the major factors influencingthe decision will be parking and space v. 1
There is no doubt that every parent wants their kids to grow up to become a good citizen. However, the responsibility of teaching the children has been subjected to lots of debate over the years. Some people think that teachers should play the major role in guiding the children while others argue that parents are more suitable for such an important role. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and present by opinion accordingly. Since most children spent a large number of hours in school on a daily basis, we expect the school to provide them with a good learning environment. On a typical school day, children attend classes, participate in sports and interact with their friends. All these activities can be used as a tool to teach children the necessary skills so that they could become a better person. For example, they can be taught the importance of discipline, teamwork and punctuality when doing a group project. Therefore, school should be the best place for children to develop all the good behaviours. However, I believe that it will be more efficient and effective for the parents to teach their own children because of the amount of time they spent together especially during the weekends and summer holidays. Parents should be responsible to ensure that their kids are growing up in a healthy environment and developing the proper correct attitudes. Moreover, it is quite easy for the parents to identify and correct any unwanted behaviour of the children. In conclusion, parents must take the lead in teaching their own children while the school must also play its supporting role.
There is no doubt that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
wants their kids to grow up to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.
However
, the responsibility of teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
been subjected
to lots of debate over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teachers should play the major role in guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more suitable for such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and present by opinion
accordingly
.

Since most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
hours in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
on a daily basis, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to provide them with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
learning environment. On a typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attend classes, participate in sports and interact with their friends. All these activities can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a tool to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could become a better person.
For example
, they can
be taught
the importance of discipline, teamwork and punctuality when doing a group project.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be the best place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

However
, I believe that it will be more efficient and effective for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the amount of time they spent together
especially
during the weekends and summer holidays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should be responsible to ensure that their kids are growing up in a healthy environment and developing the proper correct attitudes.
Moreover
, it is quite easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to identify and correct any unwanted
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the children.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the lead in teaching their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
play its supporting role.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay University May Build New Student Apartments Off CampusThe Department of Student Housing is considering whether to build new studenthousing off campus in a residential area of town. Two of the major factors influencingthe decision will be parking and space v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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