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Some students like to live on campus in dormitories. Others like to live off campus in apartments. Which do you think is better: living on campus n dormitories or living off campus in apartments? Give specific reasons and examples to support your point of v.1

Some students like to live on campus in dormitories. Others like to live off campus in apartments. Which do you think is better: living on campus n dormitories or living off campus in apartments? Give specific reasons and examples to support your point of v. 1
Auctions only accomplished with large volume of funding its become an obvious trend these days. Thus, some people hold up a prospect that they should contribute a higher amount on marriages, whilst others opine, its totally wastage. I think, the latter view is more agreeable because capital should be donated or used elsewhere. To clarify the former prospect, people spend a higher amount to show their status and financial strength to do as well as to satisfy themselves. Moreover, this is a, competitive era, the majority of people prefer this expenditure in terms of race and customs and also try to save themselves from excessive taxes and keep their money white. In my view, the latter view is totally true because this is a wastage of lace or chores in a single day with no future income. Large amounts spend on weddings create discrimination in societies which sometimes hurts feelings of middle class families who are unable to pay such amount as well as sometimes occurs dowry problems. Instead of it, this money should be donated such as charitable trusts and poor needy people for their basic needs and make their lives better. Moreover, this large sum of money also well adjusted to make better education and health care systems to rise equality and make society a better place to live in. Large weddings often harms to a great extent to those who are below the poverty line and rise crime rates in the society. To recapitulate it all, I personally believe that marriages should be simple without any status and ability show off and everyone should give hands to create equality in society by donating this money to the poor under poverty line people.
Auctions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accomplished with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
volume of funding its become an obvious trend these days.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold up a prospect that they should contribute a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
on marriages, whilst others opine, its
totally
wastage. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the latter view is more agreeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
capital should
be donated
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
elsewhere.

To clarify the former prospect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status and financial strength to do
as well
as to satisfy themselves.
Moreover
, this is
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a,
competitive era, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer this expenditure in terms of race and customs and
also
try to save themselves from excessive taxes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
white.

In my view, the latter view is
totally
true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is a wastage of lace or chores in a single day with no future income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
spend on weddings create discrimination in societies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
hurts feelings of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families who are unable to pay such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
occurs dowry problems.
Instead
of it, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be donated
such as charitable trusts and poor needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their basic needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
also
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well adjusted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better education and health care systems to rise equality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
harms to a great extent to those who are below the poverty line and rise crime rates in the society.

To recapitulate it all, I
personally
believe that marriages should be simple without any status and ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off and everyone should give hands to create equality in society by donating this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the poor under poverty line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some students like to live on campus in dormitories. Others like to live off campus in apartments. Which do you think is better: living on campus n dormitories or living off campus in apartments? Give specific reasons and examples to support your point of v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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