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University degrees are becoming increasingly less valuable. Degrees should be earned by gaining practical skills on the job instead of attending university. v.2

University degrees are becoming increasingly less valuable. Degrees should be earned by gaining practical skills on the job instead of attending university. v. 2
Millions of students graduate from university every day and this makes people reflect on the effectiveness of university education and compare that to learning on the job. Some people believe that receiving a qualification after studying at university is not worthwhile and student should develop their own skills directly working and not studying in university. This essay will discuss why university degrees are still important and valuable in our society. First, college prepares people for life. If getting a job had been more advantageous than spending time studying on books, universities would not have been created. Attending university allows students to increase their culture and their knowledge, which are essential features required in several jobs. As far as I am concerned, university teaches students how to face and handle problems. Students can comprehend how to define their goals and develop their careers. For instance, in many companies, hand workers have to be directed and guided by engineers, who have strengthened their knowledge studying and getting a degree. Engineers can teach them how machines work and if there is a problem, only the technical competence learned at university can help them. Thus, people who gain expertise just working did not deeply understand what they are doing while accomplishing their tasks. Second, attending university helps young people to find well-paid jobs. Having a degree makes them more successful in the recruitment stage. How could company leaders know that you can obtain practical proficiency on the job? They can employ someone who does not have a degree, but he/she will not have a high salary. In most cases, they have to do a period of internship without being paid. On the other hand, if in the recruitment meeting the candidates show their degree, that is valuable because this document is a certification of learning. Even though, one candidate only has theoretical skills, he/she has achieved the requirements to learn what to do in the “real” life. For example, my father attended university and now earns high salary, while his friends who did not graduate are having serious troubles finding a job. Attaining a degree is the fastest and safest way to start working on well-paid jobs. This essay discussed why people should get a college degree because it prepares them to the “real” world and it also rewards them with high salary. In my opinion, everyone who has ambition should attend university and receive a degree.
Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
every day and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reflect on the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education and compare that to learning on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that receiving a qualification after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not worthwhile and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
directly
working and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable in our society.

First
, college prepares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for life. If getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
had been more advantageous than spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
on books,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
would not have
been created
. Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to increase their culture and their knowledge, which are essential features required in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to face and handle problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can comprehend how to define their goals and develop their careers.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, hand workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be directed
and guided by engineers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have strengthened their knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Engineers can teach them how machines work and if there is a problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the technical competence learned at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
Thus
,
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
gain expertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
working did not
deeply
understand what they are doing while accomplishing their tasks.

Second, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more successful in the recruitment stage. How could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
leaders know that you can obtain practical proficiency on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
? They can employ someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he/she will not have a high salary.
In most cases
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do a period of internship without
being paid
.
On the other hand
, if in the recruitment meeting the candidates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
that is
valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this document is a certification of learning.
Even though
, one candidate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has theoretical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, he/she has achieved the requirements to learn what to do in the “real” life.
For example
, my father attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
earns high salary, while his friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not graduate are having serious troubles finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Attaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the fastest and safest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working on well-paid jobs.

This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it prepares them to the “real” world and it
also
rewards them with high salary. In my opinion, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has ambition should attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and receive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay University degrees are becoming increasingly less valuable. Degrees should be earned by gaining practical skills on the job instead of attending university. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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