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Universities should spend more money on improving facilities like library computer labs than on hiring famous teachers v.2

Universities should spend more money on improving facilities like library computer labs than on hiring famous teachers v. 2
The universities form a fundamental part of a person’s education. The experience acquires here make student to decide their path. Some people agree with the fact that the university should hire recognized professors instead of improving facilities. However, I do believe, universities should spend a lot of money in constructing and making better facilities for some reasons. To begin with, these structures will endure more in the university. Therefore, not only current students will benefit, but also future generations. Moreover, libraries also enable professors to do research on it. Thus, all of the university community can take advantage of this equipment. For example, my university in Venezuela built up a gigantic library years ago. My father, who was a student long time ago at the same school, used the library. Later, I attend to this school, and I utilized the facilities as well my father did. Since this structure has been there for years, different generations of students and teachers have taken advantage of it. In addition, the libraries and labs form part of the school culture, so universities are well-known for the amount of structure available for the student community. Another advantage of improving facilities is that they reach a greater number of students. When hiring a professor to give a class, he just can educate some learners. However, library and computer lab can reach a vast number of students. For example, when I study at Miami College, some of my classmates did not attend classes regularly. Nevertheless, all of them must finish assignment at the computer labs. Thus, the amount of student using the computers was huge when comparing with the number going to classes. Furthermore, books at the library are used daily for everybody. Consequently, the university should spend lots of money obtaining different books to satisfy student' s demands rather than hiring a few famous professors. To sum up, it is more essential for the schools spend money elaborating and developing more desirable areas for individuals to studying in instead of wasting money engaging recognized teachers.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
form a fundamental part of a person’s education. The experience acquires here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to decide their path.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should hire recognized professors
instead
of improving facilities.
However
, I do believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in constructing and making better facilities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these structures will endure more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will benefit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
future generations.
Moreover
, libraries
also
enable professors to do research on it.
Thus
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
community can take advantage of this equipment.
For example
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in Venezuela built up a gigantic library years ago. My father, who was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
long time ago at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the library. Later, I attend to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and I utilized the facilities
as well
my father did. Since this structure has been there for years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers have taken advantage of it.
In addition
, the libraries and labs form part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are well-known for the amount of structure available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
community.

Another advantage of improving facilities is that they reach a greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When hiring a professor to give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can educate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
learners.
However
, library and computer lab can reach a vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, when I study at Miami College,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my classmates did not attend classes
regularly
.
Nevertheless
, all of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
finish assignment at the computer labs.
Thus
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
using the computers was huge when comparing with the number going to classes.
Furthermore
, books at the library are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
daily for everybody.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should spend lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
obtaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
books to satisfy
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s demands
rather
than hiring a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
professors.

To sum up, it is more essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
elaborating and developing more desirable areas for individuals to studying in
instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
engaging recognized teachers.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should spend more money on improving facilities like library computer labs than on hiring famous teachers v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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