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Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree? v.2

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree? v. 2
One of the most controversial issues today relates to universities must gather typical funds for students' extra programs as similar to collect a finance to their bookstore. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of major of young students have a dramatically higher level energy, so they should invest it by safe and active method. For example, at twenty age, most of students can study and practice sporting activities. Considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that some persons' distinction by having movement, they are feeling bored with only studying. For instance, my nearly friend never studying by only sitting in the same place. It is also possible to say that as the books are feeding for brain, sporting considering the addition for bodies, Like yoga classes in interesting sport for relaxing for tired persons. One good illustration of this is if one leaving home every day for studying then spending the remain time in sports, gym will feel by positive improvement, as Taibah University has a sport club for female. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact may pay funds for sport activities impact on books' fees. An example of this idea, if the proportion of sport actions and journeys is sixty percent, it considers enormous rate for libraries important. People often have this opinion because is cancelling some lectures in students' schedules, as a reason for this, strong activities and much of it. In particular, organizing of period basketball in university. A second point is that reducing the donation, therefore, students' families do not prefer these activities and they are not seen as necessary. A particularly good example here is the survey that applied by Noura University for society, they found seventy three percent have not agreed by sports activities at university. To sum up, as we have seen, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that no problem if the collecting money for libraries and sports activities are equal, but by specific percentage and in determined time.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
gather typical funds for students' extra programs as similar to collect a finance to their bookstore. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the benefits of major of young students have a
dramatically
higher level energy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should invest it by safe and active method.
For example
, at twenty age,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the students") or simply say "most students".
most of students
can study and practice sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons' distinction by having movement, they are feeling bored with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studying.
For instance
, my
nearly
friend never studying by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sitting in the same place. It is
also
possible to say that as the books are feeding for brain, sporting considering the addition for bodies, Like yoga classes in interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for relaxing for tired persons. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is if one leaving home every day for studying then spending
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, gym will feel by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvement, as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taibah
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
club for female.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact may pay funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
impact on books' fees. An example of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, if the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
actions and journeys is sixty percent, it considers enormous rate for libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
is cancelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lectures in students' schedules, as a reason for this, strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and much of it.
In particular
, organizing of period basketball in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. A second point is that reducing the donation,
therefore
, students' families do not prefer these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as necessary.

A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is the survey that applied by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noura
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for society, they found
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
seventy three
percent have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at university.

To sum up, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that no problem if the collecting money for libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are equal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by specific percentage and in determined time.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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