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Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place What is your opinion about that? v.2

Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place What is your opinion about that? v. 2
I t is believed that tidiness and organizing iare paramount in both homes and workplaces. I totally agree with this statement for some reasons which will be presented in this essay. To begin with, when people keep their belongings well-organized in their homes, this will mostly save their time. For instance, I am used to putting kitchen tools in their proper place which enables me to find them easily, and I can prepare meals for my family within a few minutes. As a result more time is found for relaxing and doing some activities such as reading a book or watching movies with my family. If objects in home were scattered, there would be a waste of time trying to find them, and people also would be exhausted. In addition, in workplace, it usually gives a positive impression to others if the employee is a tidy person. To illustrate, my husband is working the customer services sector in one of communication companies, and he always keep his desk perfectly organized which has made his clients highly rate him for this. Consequently, he has promoted in his work and taken some benefits and incentives. Because of good image is very influential in some jobs, tidiness is beneficial to be followed. To conclude, being well-organized in home can give people the opportunity to spend free time resting or doing some beloved activities, furthermore; being tidy, people can achieve some goals in their jobs. and because of what mentioned above, I wholeheartedly believe that tidiness and organizing are fundamental in people's life.
I t
is believed
that tidiness and organizing
Possible spelling mistake found.
iare
paramount in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and workplaces. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which will
be presented
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their belongings well-organized in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, this will
mostly
save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to putting kitchen tools in their proper place which enables me to find them
easily
, and I can prepare meals for my family within a few minutes.
As a result
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is found
for relaxing and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities such as reading a book or watching movies with my family. If objects in home
were scattered
, there would be a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
trying to find them, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
would
be exhausted
.

In addition
, in workplace, it
usually
gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impression to others if the employee is a tidy person. To illustrate, my husband is working the customer services sector in one of communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "keeps", "kept".
keep
his desk
perfectly
organized which has made his clients
highly
rate him for this.
Consequently
, he has promoted in his work and taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and incentives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs, tidiness is beneficial to
be followed
.

To conclude
, being well-organized in home can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
resting or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beloved activities,
furthermore
; being tidy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
goals in their jobs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of what mentioned above, I
wholeheartedly
believe that tidiness and organizing are fundamental in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place What is your opinion about that? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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