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Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer. v.5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. v. 5
Academic achievement and recreational activities are important part of the university education system. It is argued that college and universities should provide equal allocation to sports as it provides to libraries. I believe sports and libraries plays equally important role in the development of students. To begin with, sports play a chief role in the development of graduates. Some students have been keen interesting in sports and when educational institutes provide proper equipment to students, then they reveal their talent and skills. Therefore, they get employment opportunities in the sports field and far away from drugs and bad peer company. For example, in my college time we had a football team in which I participated and won a prize at the national level that gave me the opportunity of a job in the sports field. Not only this, sports are also important for healthy life style. When students play games they stay fit and get rid of diseases. However, the role of library can not be ignored, because the most of the students depend on the service of a library. When they have assignments and projects. Only the library that has a great collection of books in the different fields along with, the access to computers. That student can use the free Wifi facility. Also, they can get the peaceful environment during the exam time. For example, in my college time during my exams, I used to go to the library, where I spent my quality of time for the peaceful atmosphere and also, got marks.
Academic achievement and recreational activities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the university education system. It
is argued
that college and universities should provide equal allocation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as it provides to libraries. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and libraries plays
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of students.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a chief role in the development of graduates.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have been keen interesting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and when educational institutes provide proper equipment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, then they reveal their talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field and far away from drugs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
peer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, in my college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we had a football team in which I participated and won a prize at the national level that gave me the opportunity of a job in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for healthy life style. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
play games they stay fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of diseases.

However
, the role of library can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
depend on the service of a library. When they have assignments and projects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the library that has a great collection of books in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields along with, the access to computers. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the free
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
Wifi
facility.
Also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the peaceful environment during the exam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, in my college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during my exams, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to the library, where I spent my quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the peaceful atmosphere and
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
marks.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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