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Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor. v.2

Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor. v. 2
It is argued that the way a person looks has a crucial role in how successful they are in education, their job and even their personal life. This essay totally disagrees with that notion because most people achieve success through hard work and talent and it will also argue that thinking that outward appearance is a determining success factor is a very negative thing. The most successful people in the modern world got there because of their drive, determination, intellect and raw talent. That is to say that it is what is inside that counts, not how one looks, and these inner traits are much more important than how attractive a person is. Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are some of the most successful people, in all aspects of their lives, but none of them reached the top because they were well groomed, know much about fashion or were born with striking good looks. Believing that it is the outside, rather than the inside, that counts is a very dangerous idea because it often leads to a very vacuous and shallow person. That means that if you believe that beauty is the most important thing, you will often have nothing to show inside and also judge other people on their looks, rather than their talents. For example, my son is very handsome, but I discourage people from telling him that because I do not want him to grow up thinking that being good looking is more important than hard work or developing his intellect and morals. In conclusion, how a person looks to others has no bearing on their success, in comparison to their character and to think otherwise is a huge drawback for a person because relying on your looks will only get a person so far in life, but never to the top.
It
is argued
that the way a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
has a crucial role in how successful they are in education, their job and even their personal life. This essay
totally
disagrees with that notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve success through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and talent and it will
also
argue that thinking that outward appearance is a determining success factor is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing.

The most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the modern world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their drive, determination, intellect and raw talent.
That is
to say that it is what is inside that counts, not how one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
, and these inner traits are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than how attractive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is. Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in all aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none of them reached the top
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were well groomed, know much about fashion or
were born
with striking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
looks.

Believing that it is the outside,
rather
than the inside, that counts is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vacuous and shallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. That means that if you believe that beauty is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
inside and
also
judge other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
,
rather
than their talents.
For example
, my son is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handsome,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from telling him that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I do not want him to grow up thinking that being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work or developing his intellect and morals.

In conclusion
, how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
to others has no bearing on their success,
in comparison
to their character and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
is a huge drawback for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
relying on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never to the top.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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