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Universities should accept equal numbers of men and women in every subject. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

Universities should accept equal numbers of men and women in every subject. v. 2
Selection process in educational institute based on gender equality is widely discussed topic. Gender equality is important in places where male and female are not considered equal however, education institutions are centers for teaching equality and abolishing discriminatory. In my opinion, universities should not have quota based on gender however, if universities are in developing countries where gender inequalities exist, they may consider having specific reservation for men and women. The seat reservations at educational institute should be based upon merit performance and not on gender, religion or caste quota. These institutes teach us about hard work, to hone skills and so on, having quota system in such institutes contradict the ideology they are working on. There are several other ways to support equality between male and female i. e. by providing special training program, scholarships and other financial support. In my view men and women should choose the course as per their individual capabilities and it should not be restricted with preferences based on genders. To ensure a better education system within the societies, the admission at universities should be done based on the student performance, intellect, and interest of students toward the subject. For example, if for a particular course in university, they have 100 seats, assuming they receive application for 60 men and 40 women. In such scenarios, 10 prospect male students would lose opportunity to pursue subject of their interest, if university follow equal number of student in each subject. In conclusion, I would like to recommend men and women have their own strength and weaknesses. The university selection procedure should be based on merit however, an independent committee could be formed within universities to ensure that no discrimination based on gender is done during the students selection process.
Selection process in educational institute based on gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is
widely
discussed topic. Gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in places where male and female are not considered equal
however
, education institutions are centers for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
and abolishing discriminatory. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should not have quota based on gender
however
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where gender inequalities exist, they may consider having specific reservation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women.

The seat reservations at educational institute should
be based
upon merit performance and not on gender, religion or caste quota. These institutes teach us about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, to hone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, having quota system in such institutes contradict the ideology they are working on. There are several other ways to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
between male and female
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
by providing special training program, scholarships and other financial support.

In my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women should choose the course as per their individual capabilities and it should not
be restricted
with preferences based on genders. To ensure a better education system within the societies, the admission at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
be done
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
performance, intellect, and interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
toward the subject.
For example
, if for a particular course in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they have 100 seats, assuming they receive application for 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 40 women. In such scenarios, 10 prospect male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would lose opportunity to pursue subject of their interest, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
follow equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in each subject.

In conclusion
, I would like to recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strength and weaknesses. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
selection procedure should
be based
on merit
however
, an independent committee could
be formed
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to ensure that no discrimination based on gender
is done
during the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
selection process.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of men and women in every subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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