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After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.6

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. v. 6
Some people make their career choices according to what they find enjoyable, while others place more value on the salaries paid. In my view, it is essential to choose to do what man loves, whereas the importance of the amount of salaries also can not be overlooked. Working in a field man enjoys is the most desirable. Motivation and passion gained while working can help people to overcome difficulties. For instance, in the process of running a restaurant, owners must have to deal with the problems of no positive profits. Instead of giving up, those who love what they are doing intend to invest all of their time and relationships to address any difficulties they encountered. Adversely, others may choose to close down their restaurants. When working in a position one loves, he or she can easily live with any issues and overcome them through perseverance and love. However, the salary paid must at least high enough to meet the basic requirement such as paying the rents and bills. Even if an artist who has a great deal of passion with arts, the income he or she received is hardly enough for them to support themselves, they should find another career path instead. Surrounded by loads of pressure and anxiety of making money might also end up erode their passion towards their interest. By way of conclusion, although the integration of career and interest can be fascinating, I would argue that people must at least work without worrying about the next meal at the same time.
Some
people
make
their career choices according to what they find enjoyable, while others place more value on the salaries paid. In my view, it is essential to choose to do what
man
loves
, whereas the importance of the amount of salaries
also
can not
be overlooked
.

Working in a field
man
enjoys is the most desirable. Motivation and passion gained while working can
help
people
to overcome difficulties.
For instance
, in the process of running a restaurant, owners
must
have to
deal with the problems of no
positive
profits.
Instead
of giving up, those who
love
what they are doing intend to invest all of their time and relationships to address any difficulties they encountered.
Adversely
, others may choose to close down their restaurants. When working in a position one
loves
, he or she can
easily
live
with any issues and overcome them through perseverance and
love
.

However
, the salary paid
must
at least high
enough
to
meet
the basic requirement such as paying the rents and bills. Even if an artist who has a great deal of passion with arts, the income he or she received is hardly
enough
for them to support themselves, they should find another career path
instead
. Surrounded by loads of pressure and anxiety of making money might
also
end
up erode their passion towards their interest.

By way of conclusion, although the integration of career and interest can be fascinating, I would argue that
people
must
at least work without worrying about the
next
meal at the same time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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