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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v.1

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v. 1
There is no doubt that gender equality is supported by many people and males and females are considered equal in all walks of life. Others, however, support the statement that men and women have differences between them which do not allow them to be equal to each other in some professional fields. In my opinion, ladies and gentlemen possess the same mental capacity but, at the same time, they are biologically and psychologically different and, therefore, some occupations are more appropriate for men and others – for women. To begin with, some professions require physical strength and stamina. Men are stronger and more athletic than women. Their physique makes them preferred choice for occupations such as roofers, minors or steel workers, for instance. This do not always mean that in these fields there are no women hired but the majority of workers are men. For these reasons, some jobs, for which is necessary more physical power, are dominated by men. On the contrary, other occupations demand consideration and emotional approach. Ladies possess these qualities – they are often more sensitive and considerate. In addition, they have a social conscience which helps them to communicate more easily with others. As a consequence, females are more suitable for occupations such as teachers, social worker and psychologists, for example. And again, there are also men occupied in these professions but ladies outnumber them. For these reasons, some jobs are defined as more reasonable for women. To summarize, the sexes are deemed completely equal in a professional aspect by a few people. Others tend to believe that there are particular jobs which are suitable for men and some occupations which are not proper for women. As far as I am concerned, there are, indeed, occupations which suit females or males better because of the biological and psychological differences between the sexes.
There is no doubt that gender equality
is supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and males and females
are considered
equal in all walks of life. Others,
however
, support the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have differences between them which do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to be equal to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professional fields. In my opinion, ladies and gentlemen possess the same mental capacity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at the same time, they are
biologically
and
psychologically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
are more appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
for women.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions require physical strength and stamina.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are stronger and more athletic than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Their physique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them preferred choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
such as roofers, minors or steel workers,
for instance
.
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "This does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This do
not always mean that in these fields there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
hired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the majority of workers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. For these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs, for which is necessary more physical power,
are dominated
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
demand consideration and emotional approach. Ladies possess these qualities
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more sensitive and considerate.
In addition
, they have a social conscience which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to communicate more
easily
with others. As a consequence, females are more suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
such as teachers, social worker and psychologists,
for example
. And again, there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
occupied in these professions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ladies outnumber them. For these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs
are defined
as more reasonable for women.

To summarize
, the sexes
are deemed
completely equal in a professional aspect by a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Others tend to believe that there are particular jobs which are suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
which are not proper for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. As far as I
am concerned
, there are,
indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
which suit females or males better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the biological and psychological differences between the sexes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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