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It is better to are your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to ask other people for advice. v.2

It is better to are your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to ask other people for advice. v. 2
Live a life is not easy task especially for human. Every stage of life, humans face huge problems and struggling to overcome. It is essential to make certain decision in life, it’s not easy but still some people make their own decision by own self without guidance of any people. While other people prefer to make decision by ask to other people. From my perspective, I made my all decision based on my intelligence and common senses rather than follow others opinion. I feel this way because this habit built my confidence and make me independent, and result of my decision I appreciate and blame to myself rather than other people. First of all, a person has confident on his skill and observation from his life. Each step our life teach us many of things which helps acquiescent of chapters of life. If, a person make own decision, then he trust own self and gradually build confidence which is help to fight every obstacle without getting other advices. My own experience compelling this idea, five years ago, I had to select my graduation program and I was very bemused for choosing field. One day I sit alone and cogitate about education, I have good percentage on high school and I knew that I got admission easily. From my knowledge, I m master in biology subject and more interest to learning different medicine work various organ, so I choose pharmacy field. One year ago, I completed my graduation in pharmacy with A grade. That decision really help to my whole academic years, it make me independence because I decide my education from my experience and knowledge. Many other friends finished graduation in dentist field according to their parents and friends interest but I choose my own decision which make me self reliant because I not need any other suggestion in my life. Secondly, get the suggestion to rid the problems is good notion but sometimes suggestions destroy the relationship with close ones or other people. For instance, a person takes advices of her friend and follows it. If the problem solve then he appreciate to her friend but if problem not solve even become complex then, the person blame to her friend for suggestion. That decision cause detrimental effect on several relationship, therefore, it is better solve the problem by own abilities. If person fail to solve the problem then, blame own abilities or if he success to rid the problem then, he gratitude to own self. Accordingly, these decisions not harm any relationship to other people. However, many people penchant that asking other people advices is help to avoid serious consequences and less risk. Whatever, I firm my opinion because all people have not same problem and other people advise not fully assure that solve the problem. Many occurrences this advises bringing other problems rather than solve. In conclusion, although many people believe that solve problem buy getting other people advises, I believe that fight to obstacles from my abilities and experience of my life because its build my confidence and make me self reliant, and maintain my relationship with other people.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not easy task
especially
for human. Every stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, humans face huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and struggling to overcome. It is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it’s not easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self without guidance of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'ask'. Remove it: "ask".
ask to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From my perspective, I made my all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
based on my intelligence and common senses
rather
than follow others opinion. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this habit built my confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me independent, and result of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
I appreciate and blame to myself
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has confident on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and observation from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Each step our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
teach us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
acquiescent of chapters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, then he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "trusts", "trusted".
trust
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self and
gradually
build confidence which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to fight every obstacle without getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advices. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience compelling this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, five years ago, I had to select my graduation
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
program and
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
bemused for choosing field. One day I sit alone and cogitate about education, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
percentage on high school and I knew that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission
easily
. From my knowledge,
It seems that an apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "I'm"?
I m
master in biology subject and more interest to learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medicine work various organ,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I choose pharmacy field. One year ago, I completed my graduation in pharmacy with A grade. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to my whole academic years, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
me independence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I decide my education from my experience and knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
finished graduation in dentist field according to their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I choose my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I not need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestion
in my life.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestion
to rid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with close ones or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
takes advices of her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and follows it. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
then he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "appreciates", "appreciated".
appreciate
to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
even become complex then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
blame to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestion
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "causes".
cause
detrimental effect on several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
,
therefore
, it is better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
fail to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
then, blame
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities or if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he success
to rid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
then,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he gratitude
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self.
Accordingly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
not harm any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
penchant that asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advices is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to avoid serious consequences and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Whatever, I firm my opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advise not
fully
assure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
occurrences this advises bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
rather
than solve.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Did you mean "by"?
buy
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
advises
, I believe that fight to obstacles from my abilities and experience of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its build my confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
, and maintain my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
89Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is better to are your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to ask other people for advice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
522 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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